Spanking Blog: Adult Erotic Spanking At Its Best

Meet Lars, the Scandahoovian husband who has marital problems. Spanking his wife is turning out not to be the obvious solution he thought it was:

This cartoon and joke are from the February 1930 Captain Billy’s Whiz Bang pulp magazine. The joke is actually fairly cute, but I don’t enjoy the attempts to capture non-standard speech in non-standard spelling that we always see in very old/stale ethnic jokes. So here’s the joke transcribed into more standard English:

Lars Fingerson was having trouble with his wife. He went to see Deacon Miller.

“Deacon”, he said, “I think I got to get a divorce from Gonver. She’s been acting like a young kid. She got sore at me; she’s throwing things around and making faces at me. I got to have a divorce.”

“Oh, Lars,” said the deacon, “I wouldn’t do that. Why don’t you treat her as you would a kid? If she doesn’t behave, turn her over and give her a good spanking.””

“Ah, deacon,” Lars wept. “That’s no good. I tried that, but every time I get her on my lap to give her a good licking, I ain’t mad no more!”

This is a cruel little .gif but I know it will appeal to a few of you sadistic pervs as much as it appealed to me. The lady must have been insufficiently cooperative with her uniformed jailor, because her ass and pussy are rather thoroughly marked with strap welts and brutal cane cuts. How much good did her resistance do her? Apparently not much:

Anal-Fucking His Ass-Welted Prisoner

See Also:

• A Harsh Switching And Anal Sex
• Piano Bench Whipping
• Belt-Spanking Foreplay

Apparently she started crying before her breast caning punishment even began. How do we know? Because there are no welts on her tits — yet.

Source not known specifically, but from the style I’m guessing it’s from the Mood Pictures / Elite Pain family of websites.

See Also:

• A Menace With A Cane
• Her Painful Honeymoon
• Breast Caning Art
• Viciously Caned Boob

She agreed to bend over and put her hands in the floor stocks because she thought this was going to be “kinky sex night” and that sounded like fun. It wasn’t until her husband came out of the walk-in closet with a cane in his hand and a stern look on her face that she realized her mistake. They had a deal about the credit cards, he reminded her, and the six hundred bucks she spent on frivolous baby shower gifts was not as agreed. He asked her “You want to work it off at ten dollars per cane stroke?” But he did not listen to her answer. His mind was already made up, and her ass was doomed:

Photo is from Restrained Elegance. I also have it in a smaller but uncropped version here.

See Also:

• Hand Spanked Wife
• Making A Mime Talk -- The Hard Way
• An Incipient Public Caning
• Tied On Tiptoe To The Spanking Bench
• Brat-Taming His Wife

She must have been a bad girl, right? How else could she have gotten such a painful-looking set of spanking bruises on her butt?

Super hi-res version here.

See Also:

• Sore Bottom Selfies
• A Really Bruised Bottom

Normally when a woman is already upside down over her husband’s knee, she’s busy trying to talk herself out of the spanking she already has coming. But this lady seems intent on making sure the thing actually happens:

Cartoon is by Dave Wolfe of WolfieToons.

See Also:

• Spanked In The Kitchen...With A Growl
• The Return Of Thanksgiving Spankings
• Turkey Day Spanking
• Kitchen Discipline
• Spanking The Turkey

You know it’s a crazy year when Black Friday sales start on the Monday before Thanksgiving. But that is the kind of year we are actually in. Yes, my friends, Kink Unlimited is giving you a head start on the holiday, with a 55% discount when you join. You might well need 100 channels of kinky porn to get through a holiday week when a lot of your usual festive options aren’t on the table. Sure, you could pass the time whaling away on your sweetie with your spanking toy of choice — but with any luck you’ve been wearing out their tender areas for quite a few months now already!

No, friend, the people in your plague pod would all very much appreciate it if you bought yourself some new porn (100 channels and counting!) and gave their poor bottoms a break. Or perhaps yours is one of the poor bottoms in question. Some new porn might just possibly distract the fiend who paddles you, thus buying your tender ass some time to recover! I warn you not to count on the distraction scheme working, though. It might, sure. Or, the big old grumpy spanker in your life might just get a bunch of new kinky ideas, and then guess whose test titties are gonna be getting sore?

Really there’s no way to lose here! Join Kink Unlimited now and enjoy a kinky holiday, however it goes down!

See Also:

• Kink Unlimited Labor Day Sale 2020
• Of Course It Hurts! Kink.com Valentine's Sale 2020
• Fractional Spanking Humor
• It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Kinkmas
• Twenty Years Of Spanking Kink