Do Not Shoot At Smoke Detectors

Here’s a spanking story that’s funny and serious at the same time. Bethany has a problem with smoke detectors, and her Jim has a problem with that. Having once been a volunteer fireman, I have to side with Jim:

So – set the scene in your mind. My steaks are burning, two smoke detectors are shrieking into the night so loudly that I’m sure the neighbors will be calling 911, the dogs are barking… and the gun is sitting right there. I mean, come on. It was a no-brainer. I simply picked up the pellet gun, intending to blast the smoke detector in the garage into little (quiet) pieces.

Jim saw me walking into the garage with the pellet gun and immediately became somewhat concerned. (“Somewhat concerned” is a euphemism, unfortunately.) To be more exact, he went ballistic. I guess the sight of one’s wife armed in the house is troubling, or something.

As Jim and I have both implied on this blog before, “real” spankings are mostly a thing of the past for me. But – as I found out last Sunday evening – “mostly” and “completely” are two different things. I was – ahem – relieved of the gun in short order. He then calmly turned off the grill, turned off the two smoke detectors, saved the steaks, got the dogs to shut up (no, he didn’t shoot them) and then took me up to our bed room, where he, also calmly and deliberately, put me over the bed and spanked my bare ass with the paddle he made me when we first met. The one with the waffle pattern.

One forgets, sadly, when one is mostly playing happy little spanky games, how much a REAL spanking hurts. Particularly delivered by a large and angry (though calm) man. And spankings that begin with me not in the frame of mind to receive one can be particularly intense. I mean, friends, look at it from my point of view, OK? What did I really do? What was the ACTUAL crime? I walked from Point A to Point B (about twelve feet) with a gun in my hand. (Which was not loaded, I feel compelled to point out, so my “big plan,” if you can call it that, would not even have worked.) However, this argument really did not cut it with Jim.

So the outcome was that I got spanked, good and hard. He said a lot of things about intent and poor attitude and guns in the house. I came around to his way of thinking eventually, which I will type here for you: smoke detectors are our friends. Smoke detectors save lives. Women who tamper with smoke detectors WILL get their butts busted. And one other thing: Waffle paddles leave waffle patterns on bare skin.

Pig Spanking

Even though it’s supposedly not supposed to be erotic, I can’t help but share this classic bit of spanking animation:

Please Put Down The Whip

Although it’s not actually a spanking picture (though there is some whipping later in the scene) I just love the look of apprehension on the face of Whipped Ass model Candace Von. She’s looking at the whip and you can just tell she’s thinking “Oh my God, please no, oh my God, this is going to hurt…”

breast whipping pose

The Most Infamous Whipping

I’ve no wish to offend anyone (at Christmas of all times!) but I don’t mind acknowledging that the tendrils of religion, eroticism, and kink have been entwined by better folk than me, going back for centuries at least, and probably to the very dawn of religion in its most pagan forms. Is there anyone out there so bold as to claim that a painting like this one (William Bouguereau’s 1880 The Flagellation of Christ – larger uncropped version here) was, or is, utterly devoid of erotic sensibility?

flagellation of christ

[crickets]

I didn’t think so.

Merry Christmas, everybody!

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Paddling Santa

But of course sometimes it’s Santa Claus who gets the spanking, especially when she’s cute. I found this picture on Flikr:

cute santa clause gets a paddle spanking

Long Paddle

Here’s another gem from one of the classic spanking magazines. What a paddle!

long paddle spanking

Vintage Hairbrush Spanking Photo

There’s a nice authentic look of anguish on the face of the recipient of this vintage OTK hairbrush spanking:

vintage hairbush spanking

Found in the vintage erotica newsgroup on Usenet.

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