That Old Self-Spanking Machine

If you’ve ever typed “spanking machine” into a search engine — and who among us has not? — you’ve probably seen images of this ancient self-spanking device that seems to have been built and sold for initiations and rituals at fraternities and fraternal orders, like Masonic lodges and such. I don’t really understand that culture, but the device turns up all over in supply catalogs from the early 20th century, and various musty museums too:

initiation spanking machine Moulin Bros

Recently, however, I found a tiny snippet of video from someone who appears to be fucking around in the artifacts of an old fraternal hall somewhere, and gives us a demo of the spanking machine:

Kapow!

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Mouse Spanking Machine

If this is supposed to be the proverbial better mousetrap, the concept still needs a lot of work. But if we upscaled it a bit and marketed it as dungeon furniture, I think it has genuine commercial potential:

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Spanking Machine Contest

I love the idea of this spanking contest setup. It would be a great way to let hostile people work out their aggressions on each other. The faster they turn the cranks, the harder and oftener the other girl gets gets spanked. There even appear to be some modest restraining straps so that the loser can’t just leap off the bike…

spanking machine contest

Artist is XXXX52.

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Spanking Machine Run Amuck

Here’s a fun little spanking machine fantasy by PixelJail. What happens when a kinky engineering student locks herself into a spanking machine for a livestreamed fundraiser… but she screws up the control system? Ooh, ouch, it’s a runaway spanking machine, and our girl’s in quite a painful pickle!

runaway spanking machine

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Brutal Spanking Machine

This is one of the more imaginatively-severe electric spanking machines I’ve come across. Six implements, a nice anally-intruding bottom positioner/stabilizer, and a simple counter to document how many spanks the machine has delivered:

brutal spanking machine delivers electric-powered punishment

Artwork is by Benson.

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19th-Century Reformatory Spanking Machine (Or Not)

In 1898, the New York Times reported on the state of spanking machine technology in our nation’s reformatories:

electric spanking chairs

The text of this, but not the image, was reported many years ago on Spanking Blog. Various reliable sources suggest that the Warden Hoyt quoted in the piece subsequently claimed he was only joking, and that no spanking machine was ever made.

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Scientifically Tested Spanking Machine

What good is a spanking machine if you don’t subject it to extremely thorough scientific testing?

testing a spanking machine

Artist is Dan Rivera.

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