Spanking On The First Date?

hand spanking art manara

We used to have a lot more interesting spanking discussions, back before a few centralized social media platforms ate all the special interest fetish communities. On spanking forums and newsgroups and bulletin boards and blogs, we’d talk about all kinds of spanking questions. One of the perennial “interesting questions” that used to get discussed a lot among people who enjoy the spanking fetish had to do with dating and spanking. Specifically, should you spank or get spanked on the first date?

It was a good question. I mean, spanking can be pretty chaste. Nobody’s panties have to come down, although it’s a lot more fun if they do; you can deliver or receive a perfectly fine spanking through street clothes. The same is true of kissing, right? You can kiss your date with considerable verve and passion right in the middle of a public restaurant, if you know what you’re doing; you don’t actually have to give him or her a hickey or put your tongue in their mouth to make it serious.

panties down lap spanking

On the other hand, a good spanking involves a lot of trust. The artwork accompanying this post, by Milo Manara, illustrates what surely looks like it was a good spanking. If near strangers are going to share that kind of intimacy, the chemistry needs to be good, and the setting needs to be safe.

otk spanking art by milo manara

Another issue is the matter of spanking and sex. For some people; spanking is foreplay; it’s how they get sexually excited before the main event. People like this might engage in very light spanking the same way they might make out with someone they were considering having sex with, but they often won’t want to engage in heavy spanking unless they are pretty sure they’d also like to do other sexual stuff after the spanking.

Whereas, there are other people who say that for them, there’s nothing sexual at all about spanking. It’s a purely aesthetic or sensual pleasure for them, one they are happy to engage in with platonic play partners with whom they never expect to do sexual things of any kind. People like this, when matched with play partners of like mind, are a lot more likely to spank upon early and easy acquaintance, for obvious reasons!

milo manara panties down hand spanking

A first date between spanking fetishists is sometimes a minefield. Even if they both know they like spanking, have they worked out before the date whether they are “spanking is sex” or “spanking is just sensual fun” spankos? And do they know if they are matched in this regard, or mismatched? Things get tricky fast if good communication is not happening!

But that, of course, is a problem that’s hardly unique to spanking daters. Be safe out there, communicate as best you can about what you want, and try to have fun!

spanked personals banner

  1. The Count commented on July 2nd, 2019:

    For your English readers, what does ‘give a hickey’ mean?

  2. SpankBoss commented on July 2nd, 2019:

    Wikipedia tells me it’s “love bite” in British English.

  3. L commented on July 8th, 2019:

    Or those that have the middle ground of “could be sexual but doesn’t have to be”
    Where are either person in that aspect?

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How It Started And How It's Going, The Movie:

Wild Party 2: Five Very Sorry Girls

before and after brutal caning photo
"...thirty vicious cane strokes for each delinquent young woman caught drinking on school grounds..."