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The folks who run Disciplinarian.com sent me some pretty photos from their site. Although the spanking I’ve seen from them is mild, they do an excellent job of costuming their adult “school girl” models:
Very nice.
Sometimes my mail is really fun. A reader writes:
Hi there,
I am writing all the way from Brazil (not that it matters) because I need to share something with someone that will understand how cool this is.
I GOT SPANKED!
I’ve finally got my boyfriend of 7 years (he’s 25, we have been dating for 7 years) to spank me!! At first he was completely opposed to it, said he couldn’t smack me even if I asked for… then… once he gave me a token swat (with his hand) after I really begged him. I told him how much I wanted him to spank me, and how much it turned me on just to think about it, but he looked at me as if I was weird. I didn’t want to press the issue any further, maybe it I was a bit odd… but then, last night I was so turned on, and I really, really needed a spanking! So I asked him for it… and to my surprise he didn’t even answer, but smacked my bottom hard!! Not once, but many times! Until I asked him to stop!
I was disappointed that I couldn’t take more than 6 or 7 swats… I thought I would last much more than that… but at the same time he seemed very turned on by the whole affair, and said we can do it again if I want. NOW I CAN GET SPANKED IF I WANT!! How cool is that?
Cool indeed — thanks for writing in!
I’m not sure what the therapeutic goal here is supposed to be, but if rebelliousness is a disease, this looks like the sure cure: a brutal caning from the evil doctor and mean nurse at Her First Punishment:
Thanks to Spank Slaves for the link.
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I’m on record as being unimpressed with the use of the commercial generic personals sites to find a spanking partner, but the sites do, by all reports, work for some people. However, one thing the women who use such sites stress repeatedly is the need for the guys who use the sites to put some effort into their communications. Standard English (complete with capitalization, punctuation used as such, and mostly proper spelling) really is important. The reason? Because if you can’t be bothered to at least try to compose a literate email, it suggests you are lazy in your pursuit of women. And most women include, among their minimum standards, that a guy has to be willing to go to some effort for them.
To illustrate, I’m going to reproduce an email I just got from a fellow looking for tips on finding a spanking partner. Guy-who-emailed, I’m not picking on you; these really are the pointers you were looking for. Here’s the complete email:
I came across your site on accedent…and i belive everything you say i been to that far east site and man i havnt gone totly in but the previews are nuff for me….and its totlly hard to find a sub dom perfect relationship im 20 and been into spanking for at least the past 6 years
so….im from south south texas corpus christi….latino 5’11….170lbs….but hay if you have any pointers on how i could find people like us ..i mean i have tryed ALT that adult kinky web finder but its not workin….guess cuz im not a full member ,,,,,pero….thanx for taking the time to share your experiance and thoughts with the cyber world,,,,,aloha
Ouch. Even speaking as a guy, I can say that’s just not attractive. OK, so there are hints that English may not be this fellow’s first language. Most women aren’t going to hold that against a man. But there’s no language in the world that uses five commas in a row to separate sentences or thoughts. Plus, this guy knows (look at the first sentence) to use a capital letter to start a sentence — he just can’t be bothered. Overall, this comes across as casual-to-the-point-of-sloppy. Guys, show a little effort!
Of course, he wasn’t trying to seduce me, he was just asking for some pointers. But I greatly doubt his email style tightens up all that much when he uses his favorite personals site. It should. It would help.
For reference, here’s what that same email might have looked like, if it had been written in a style that doesn’t damage the man’s cause:
Hi, there.
I came across your site by accident, and I believe everything you say. I have visited that Far East site, and man, I haven’t gone totally in but the previews are enough for me. It’s totally hard to find a sub/dom perfect relationship. I’m 20 and have been into spanking for at least the past six years.
So: I’m from South Texas: Corpus Christi. I’m Latino — 5′ 11″, 175 lbs. Do you have any pointers on how I could find people like us? I mean, I tried Alt.com — that kinky web finder — but it’s not working, I guess because I’m not a full member.
Thanks for taking the time to share your experiences and thoughts with the cyber world. Aloha!
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Bastinado, according to the accomplished and error-free historical researchers who write psuedo-Victorian porn novels, was the practice of caning one’s slave women or servant girls (or inquisitees — it’s a practice often attributed to the Spanish Inquisition) on the soles of their feet. Said to be intensely painful, with the added benefit of keeping the unhappy recipient humbly on her hands and knees for a few days. It’s also popular in the Hogtied dungeons:
Note well: Bastinado is not, according the kinky sexperts, recommended outside the realm of fantasy, because the feet have all sorts of fragile-but-important small bones and connective tissues. I’m sure there are experienced sadists who feel they can cane feet more-or-less safely, but it’s not for casual bedroom fun. Even the experienced Hogtied dungeon-masters are posing, in their own severe fashion: for all the menace in those shots, the at-risk feet look welt-free.
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I don’t encourage people to email me for spanking advice, because I’m usually too busy to offer any. Sad to say, such emails usually go unanswered. But A’marie caught me at a good moment, with a question I actually had some useful input on:
I’m 25, still in college, and believe it or not, finding a “kinky” partner is impressively hard. I had figured it probably wouldn’t happen several years ago. My last boyfriend, however, found some spanking pictures on my laptop, which opened up the discussion. He said he was ok with it (my first indication he wasn’t), and proceeded to freak out about it at several points in the future. By now I almost feel like giving up. I’ve been very interested in spanking for at least 10 years and through a myriad of partners, but have only been spanked once by a partner, which consisted of 3 times with his belt because I made him drop his contact on the floor. So, needless to say, I’m not very experienced.
Ok, all this background is for a reason (I think), and that being, do you have any suggestions? I don’t know that I would feel comfortable telling a partner about this particular kink anymore, especially after the last one wigged out. I tried a personals site and a chatroom, but both were horrible. I wouldn’t even mind just a place to talk, not necessarily look for a partner, just a place to chat so I don’t feel like such a freak.
I almost started a blog. I got to the point where I just wanted to spill everything out in complete anonymity. I also remembered your blog advice. However I feel a blog about a girl that wants to be spanked and can’t find someone willing, hates homework and loves video games and uber geeks…well, I just don’t think there’s quite a niche for that. Yet.
No niche for that? She’s a dream girl for legions of kinky young uber geeks, is what she is. (Remember, geeks are the ones who found all the kinky internet porn during their formative years, while they were still hammering out their sexual kinkscapes with fists full of hand lotion….) So I had to respond:
I recommend spanking forums — seriously. Big commercial personals sites suck unless you are willing to kiss an awful lot of frogs (that’s one spot where it’s worse for women, the kinky guys who are unsuitable tend to be horribly, stomach-wrenchingly unsuitable) and chatrooms are way too immediate — before you know it, some guy named Gor-Master6969 is shouting “KNEEL BEFORE MY ROD, WORTHLESS SLAVE-WENCH!” at you. Just be glad you didn’t agree to meet him for coffee first.
Forums (bulletin boards) have their own flaws, but they are *much* friendlier. The typical denizen is a woman who, like you, wants someone to spank her, and can’t find one (or, just as likely, she has a husband she loves who thinks she’s a little sick and won’t spank her). From time to time, guys looking for someone to spank will come along — and, given the essay-like persistent-text nature of the place, the wierd and odd ones will make their natures clear quite readily. Anybody who sounds like a nice guy, is playful and cheerful and friendly, and displays any useful degree of kink whatsoever, will fairly quickly get “harvested” by one of the available women present. That’s your chance, but be sure to move fast — because even if he says he’s never had a girlfriend before, if he’s made the playful/friendly/kinky cut over a month or two of sustained posts, he’s already received a dozen oh-so-innocent but very detailed friendly private emails from the ladies on the board. Yeah, if you get him, you or he will almost certainly end up having to move — but that’s the price you pay for enlisting the awesome power of the internet to fix your love life.
Not making any of that up — it’s pretty much my own experience, at Spanking Classics. That’s where I say I found Bethie, but in reality, she found me. (Her new Spanking Den is another good spot.)
Regarding the lack of niche for your blog idea, I have to say I think you’re nuts. There’s a niche all right, consisting of however many men in the English-speaking world think “a girl that wants to be spanked and can’t find someone willing, hates homework and loves video games and uber geeks” is their dream girl. It isn’t such
a tiny niche, plus most of them read the internet and you’re only looking to reach one of them (or a small handful, if you are unusually friendly and ambitious). What I’m saying is, your blog is your ultimate romantic marketing tool. It takes time, but at this point I get a letter a week from women who (they manage to hint) would love to get to know me better, if only Bethie didn’t have me firmly harvested.)Blog about spanking and video games and your lust for uber geeks. The uber geeks will be Googling video games and will find you. Before you know it, you’ll be getting more IMs and emails than you know what to do with. If you’re nice, you’ll sort out the decent-sounding ones you don’t want and point them all at Spanking Den for the enrichment of your sister seekers-after-paddling.
Good news, you kinky young geek types — A’marie says her blog will be online soon.
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Hmmm, if the old authoritarianism is dying out, could this be among the reasons? After all, how do you beat a proper respect for authority into the proles, if they are enjoying the process?
From Usenet.