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If you frequent the sort of spanking forums where spanko women hang out, it won’t be long before you see a woman ask “I know what we get out of getting spanked, but what’s in it for the guys?” The full answer is of course humanly complex, but the cartoon answer isn’t so very far wrong:
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For whatever reason, I think I’ve linked to more articles advising women on how to get their men to spank them, than vice versa. In an attempt to remedy the imbalance, please let me introduce the hilarious The Neurotic Gentleman’s Guide to Bringing Up Spanking with Your Wife or Significant Other; or C’mon, Honey, You Know I Was Only Kidding!
A few excerpts are in order. First, the setup dialogue:
Man: I want…I want…
Wife or Significant Other: Tell me what you want, dear. I love you and want what you want.
Man: I want to spank you. With tiny panties on.
Wife or Significant Other: We’re never going to have sex again, you sick-o pervert.
My, didn’t that go well? Moving rapidly along to the helpful advice:
First, you have to remember that some women like to be spanked. Second, you have to remember that some women are deeply offended by the idea of being spanked. Third, you really, really have to remember that there’s no way to know which women are which.
Hmmm. We’re not really getting anywhere. How about a clever stratagem?
A quick slap from behind during the act of sex can be a winning strategy, just so long as you’re properly prepared. Here’s what I suggest:
Before initiating sex, use a black Sharpie to draw a tiny, irregularly-shaped speck on the palm of your spanking hand. Then, when your wife or significant other is really getting into it, give her a resounding slap on the ass. Don’t be ambiguous; spank her once sharply and keep humping.
If she lowers her head and moans, or asks for it again, harder this time, or pushes back toward your thrusting hips and grinds…you’ve survived to spank again. If she turns and glares back over her shoulder, or shows any other sign of anger or impending violence, hold up your spanking hand and show her the irregularly-shaped speck.
“Mosquito,” you explain. “Sorry.”
Then back to it before she sees that it’s not a dead mosquito on your palm at all. Don’t forget to wash your hands immediately after you’re done.
Of course, there’s much more. Fun!
Thanks to ErosBlog for the link.
Free video clips on the internet are usually too small and grainy to be much fun, even if you have the bandwidth to enjoy them properly. Sometimes, though, I see one that’s too much fun not to share. This clip comes from a shoot at Whipped Ass that features a mistress whipping her slavegirl lightly with a cane, while the girl is tied hand-and-foot in the most vulnerable position:
Found where I always go for this stuff, at Spank Slaves.
Here’s an account of another strip club spanking, written by a college boy so young and innocent that he can’t spell yet:
I took [a lapdance] from the first good looking girl that offered. This turned out to be a good thing. This chick had a massive rack, and the titties were real, my friends. Monsterous. The stripper asked me if I wanted a topless dance with touching or a full nude with no touching. I told her she could do whatever she prefered so she said she’d touch me, but still gimme some full nudity. She gave me a longer dance than usual and there was hands on action. She had me spank her, as odd as that sounds. She was bent over infront of me, spanked herself and then told me “Do it.” I didn’t know was she was talking about at first, but then I realized she wanted me to slap her ass. I slapped it lightly the first time and she says “Harder!” I slapped it a little bit harder, but again she yells, “HARDER!” This time I slapped that ass so hard that it almost hurt my hand. It made this sweet spanking sound. The stripper didn’t even flinch. She was just like “Ooh!” and smiled. I said, “God damn!” aloud. Then she took off my belt, un-did my pants and started sucking on my belt like a dick while groping my crotch. All in all, the dance was pretty solid.
“It made this sweet spanking sound….” The noise, I’m thinking, was actually the sound of his first footfall on the road to spanko pervdom.
Several recent emails and comments have asked for more explicitly sexual spanking material. Trouble is, it’s still very rare to find spanking porn that shows sex as well. As I’ve mentioned before, the absolute best source I’ve found for spanking and sex in the same place is a spanking movie studio called Far East Media. Their stuff combines heavy spanking (often culminating in tears) with follow-up fairly hardcore sex. It’s not particularly gentle, but it’s real as hell, if that’s what you are looking for. (I still haven’t found a good source that combines pleasure spankings with tender sex afterwards — so there’s an opportunity for you if you want to break into the spanking porn business.)
Thumbnail is from the movie Jesmi: Spanked And Ass-Fucked.
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I’ve mentioned before I like impact shots. This crack of the belt is particularly delicious:
From Girls Boarding School.
This post hurts a little bit, but I gotta do it.
They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. I don’t agree — I think money is the sincerest form of flattery — but imitation is right up there.
A couple of months ago, I heard from some of the people (including the owner) at one of the bigger commercial spanking websites. They had noticed Spanking Blog, and wanted to know a little about what I was doing. They were curious and interested. We talked some business, exchanged some emails, and so forth. They wound up buying a banner ad, and I put up one of their affiliate banners on my spanking toplist and other places. Good business, productive exchange, yadda yadda.
Time passes. Then what to my wondering eye should appear, but a new spanking blog run by the owner of the company. First post: less than a week after the exchanges with me. And what’s it called? “The Spanking Blog.” The domain name? It’s “thespankingblog.com”.
I’ll be honest: all flattery aside, it made me grumpy. These guys have a well-established brand they could have leveraged, but instead, when it came to choosing a name or domain, they settled for imitation. I’ve emailed the owner, and we’ve had a frank exchange of views, and he of course doesn’t see it my way (although he’s frank in crediting me with prompting him to realize that there was an untapped market for his products in the blog world.)
But here’s the real kicker: He’s doing a damn fine job. His blog is good. Not very interactive, but with long essays about his time in the spanking business, and inside impressions of the models, with lots of good stories about what it’s like to produce spanking pictures and videos. All, of course, illustrated with the lovely photographs for which his company is justly famous. And designed by one of his on-staff designers, so it all looks smooth and professional.
By my own blogging standards, I have to link to him. You, my readers, will enjoy his blog, which is the only link criterion that’s truly important. But what I cannot bring myself to do, is to assist him in creating the brand confusion that he sought when he chose a name and domain so close to this blog’s. Thus, all future references and links on Spanking Blog will simply refer to “The Other One”. (That way, I won’t be contributing to the confusion between our spanking blogs that he seems to be hoping for.)
If you decide to link to The Other One, I hope you’ll join me in linking to it this way.