Duh, Sir?
There’s just a bit of power exchange (and no spanking, despite considerable potential for earning one) in this post that’s an early favorite for funniest blog post title of 2006: “The Night Of The Buckwheat Hulls In The Fur“.
There’s just a bit of power exchange (and no spanking, despite considerable potential for earning one) in this post that’s an early favorite for funniest blog post title of 2006: “The Night Of The Buckwheat Hulls In The Fur“.
In which Magdala learns the hard way not to question the spanking count:
Since Masters are never wrong and Master is the one who counted….according to his calculations and the number of swats I received….I think I am 87 years old. Fortunately, I look young for my age.
At one point I (quite foolishly) took it upon myself to point out that he had just given me 15 swats that he had already given me and counted. So he took them back. The exact same way he applied them. One after another, only I think the take back spanking was harder than the initial spanking.
And thus was all made right with the world.
Mistress Matisse reveals an intriguing standard of good behavior when enjoying holiday champagne:
“I was very good this year. I did not forcibly disrobe and spank my attorney….”
One of the bits of clandestine literature that made a strong impression on me in my lustful adolescence was the classic The Way Of A Man With A Maid. Here’s an excerpt from Part II (courtesy of A Taste Of The Birch):
At last I brought the whip down smartly across the top of her hips. It made a soft smacking sound but left no mark, although Marion sucked in her breath and jerked nervously, perhaps more from the torturing suspense than from the stroke itself. ‘That is one!’ I counted aloud.
She bent her head, closed her eyes, while I stared over her shoulder at the mirror, feasting my appetites to the utmost. You can have no idea how really mouthwatering Alice’s sister was, standing there stark naked except for her black stockings and the flouncy rosette garters, her legs slightly spread, her arms drawn up so high that her pectoral muscles were in bold relief, and the uptilting insolent pears of her breasts surged out in dazzling elegance as if in a contest of love goddesses!!
I dealt the second cut a little lower down , just over the top of her prominent and firm bottom ovals, and I enjoyed the sight of the lash clinging to those tender hemispheres and the tip flicking round towards the area of her tender groin. Marion gasped a little more loudly this time, nervously tried to shift from foot to foot, and dragged on her wrists. From the way her sides were trembling, for I could see her ribcage plainly outlined against the taut olive skin, I knew that she must be fatigued from the long duration of her atonement. As this would increase the overall stress on her nerves and psyche to bring me the most voluptuous gratification I hardened my heart and directed the third cut about an inch below the place where the second had landed.
Her hips gave an involuntary swerve to this side and that, her head tilted back a little and her eyes opened wide. Intently following her reflection, I perceived that her eyes were full of tears and that her nostrils were beginning to dilate rapidly….
Here’s a vintage spanking photo from one of those 1970s spanking magazines; doesn’t she look sore?

From Usenet.
Sometimes Bethie is so funny I can’t stop laughing. Ever since Christmas, I’ve been giggling (and I’m a large man, so it’s creepy when I giggle, but I just can’t help myself) about her reaction to the nice aluminum-handled lexan cane Santa Claus left in her stocking.
I swear, it had to be Santa Claus. How do I know? Because Bethie and I take turns filling each other’s stocking. I went first, so she knows it wasn’t me; the handle of the cane would have been sticking out when I was done. Still, in the morning, there it was. I figure that Santa’s updating the “switches for bad girls” idea with modern space age materials, and the cane (mixed in with all the chocolate Bethie got) is a reminder that she was just a little bit naughty last year.
So anyway, her reaction:
The only flaw was some weird thing I found in my stocking. It looks like a miniature light saber. It has a pretty silver handle with a long, round clear rod coming out of it. I looked for a switch to see if it had a light in it, but it doesn’t. I’m not sure why he’d give me a defective light saber, but since everything else is so great, I decided to ignore it and just settled for swishing it around making a “chooom-chooom” sound for effect.
Now, mind you well, I’ve demonstrated the proper use of this cane several times now, but give her half a chance and she’s back to waving it around, making chooom-chooom noises, and looking puzzled. Sigh, I guess I’ll just have to keep demonstrating what it’s really for….
Tip for young ladies: If you find yourself stuck in a Lupus Pictures movie, where it turns out you reside with an angry admiral, you should try not to piss him off. Else it’s the paddle for you:
And then the oiled leather strap:
Ouchies!
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