Losing The Spanking Lottery
I’m pretty sure that if such a thing happened to me, I’d swiftly announce a change in the rules:
This is an Oglaf web comic titled The Jackpot. As with many web comics, this one has a written extra punchline on mouseover; it says “Your chances of getting lucky are less than one in a million.”
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I’d argue that’s a win, but to each his own!