Spanking Voodoo Dolls: Oh, The Fun We Would Have!

The moment I saw this Cyanide & Happiness webcomic, my mind went to a dreamy place. Just think, if we could get spanking voodoo dolls this effective, how much fun could we have?

voodoo doll with a pretty mouth

I don’t think I have enough mathematics to even begin to enumerate the number of spontaneous sore bottoms in the world, once these spanking voodoo dolls appeared on the market!

Sadly, an effective voodoo-doll technology of sympathetic magic does not exist as a commercial product for our delight. It’s true that we live in an age of miracles, where we can buy a good quality love doll made of excellent space-age materials for a very reasonable sum; but while we may have sorted out the simplest bits of sex that way, magical fetish games are a tougher nut to crack. We don’t yet have the ability to reach out and spank the deserving by “spooky action at a distance.” Certain promising developments in quantum mechanics notwithstanding, it may yet be awhile.

But a man can dream, dammit!

One good thing about a sex doll, anyway, is that it won’t cheat on you. Loyalty should never be overrated! You start playing around with the eldritch magic of voodoo dolls and you may start finding out things you never wanted to know about the more fallible people in your life. Also, a word to the wise: unless your conscience is snow-white clean, don’t go loaning out your voodoo doll!

never loan your voodoo doll

From the Channelate webcomic.

Voodoo doll fun has been a lighthearted part of our popular imagination for a very long time. The voyeuristic thrill that Jughead is taking in watching Veronica Lodge menace Betty with a pretty blonde voodoo doll in this strip from Betty & Veronica No. 201 back in March of 1973 is almost unseemly:

veronica threatening to stick pins in a Betty voodoo doll

In The Best Of Enemies as the story goes, Veronica threatens Betty with a voodoo curse and gets mad when everybody laughs at her, so she buys the pretty blonde doll (very expensive, and a good Betty likeness) to follow through. Jughead can’t wait to see the poking — he’s such a pervert! That speech by Veronica was clearly designed to, ah, stimulate young minds: “Wherever I stick a pin in the doll, you will feel excruciating pain in the same spot on your — your — ” But of course the ladies fall to playing with the doll, which reminds them of their childhood friendship, and all thought of poking is forgotten. Much to Jughead’s keen frustration!

I’ll wrap up this post with a cute voodoo doll artwork by artist bmoviemonstar on DeviantArt. The caption is “Go ahead, stick it to me!” but the mischievous smile on the doll is one every spanko has seen on a lightly-spanked woman. It’s a challenging smile, one that asks “Is that really all you got?”

cute naughty voodoo doll

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How It Started And How It's Going, The Movie:

Wild Party 2: Five Very Sorry Girls

before and after brutal caning photo
"...thirty vicious cane strokes for each delinquent young woman caught drinking on school grounds..."