Ass Raped By Bears

Best. Comment flame. Ever.

Folks, I tend to screen out the “you sick perverts, you all suck” comments that get left here — and they do — because nobody comes to Spanking Blog to have their lifestyle condemned. But sometimes I just have to share the best ones. (And it’s also a useful reminder to stay safe out there, in a world full of crazies.)

Here’s a comment that someone tried to leave yesterday:


I’m thinkin’ that’s gonna be one busy panda….

See Also:

  1. Alison commented on April 11th, 2007:

    I think what you really deserve is a good old fashioned trousers down spanking. It hardly seems fair on the panda does it? Nice to see comments arriving from a more imaginative type of contributor though.

  2. Emilie commented on April 11th, 2007:

    Definitely a very busy panda! Or maybe the panda and all his brothers, cousins, uncles, and friends will do the deed! And if we’re sick because we like spanking…that ‘person’ is extra disgusting for using such foul language and suggesting beastiality (or however you spell it) as a ‘punishment’!

    Damn…I need a spanking now, I’m a sick bastard, huh? I suppose I’ll keep an eye out for the evil panda…


  3. AJ commented on April 11th, 2007:

    Another panda spanking? It’s getting so old!

  4. Abel commented on April 11th, 2007:

    Of course, it’s said that one of the problems with breeding pandas in captivity is that they have a relatively low sex drive. Perhaps your correspondent is merely keen to protect an endangered species, suggesting that regular access to spanking pictures might prove uplifting for the panda population?

  5. David commented on April 11th, 2007:

    Now I think he was grabbing for the first thing that came to mind. What was the closest punishment like spanking but not spanking he could wish doled out to us that maybe we would not enjoy? An ass-raping. And what was most like a PAddle that was not a paddle? A PAnda!

    You can tell the dude was in a hurry because of the lack of proofing on the reverse capitalization and no commas.

    Still, a VERY creative flame.

    And I think we should be at least mildly tolerant of his own (possibly as of yet unacknowledged) panda fetish.

  6. Tammy commented on April 11th, 2007:

    That made me laugh!!! I’ve never heard of or thought of an ass raping by a panda. And he called us sick bastards?? LOL

  7. SpankedTeacher commented on April 11th, 2007:

    I’m with Alison–With *that* attitude, he’s cruising for one serious trip over my knee! Not to mention a bar of soap in the mouth and some corner time!

  8. nickyludd commented on April 11th, 2007:

    DAvid’s commet is moving us on in the interpretation of this. It is – in the true sense – Freudian. To continue it … PA, as out of ‘paddle’. DA as out of ‘dad’ … so ‘panda’ is a condensation of : paddled by your dad, Further, PAN is obviously ‘Pan’ as in the deity of lust, out of which comes ‘panic’ and ‘pandemonium’.

    So plse do share with us any more like literate dissers of us perves.

  9. Bunny commented on April 11th, 2007:

    lol–panda bear! That’s a new one; but I think I read on that panda’s have a low sex drive. Maybe ass raping all us will do the trick and we can have more baby panda bears for when the ass raping one wants to retire. Also, I agree with David–this guy has a panda fetish that is yet unacknowledged. Maybe he’s mad there are no ass raping panda websites.


  10. Robin commented on April 12th, 2007:

    Is this the origin of the term “Pander to all your needs” ?

    I think “Ass Raping Pandas” are a bit questionable on the “Sick” scale! Anyhow I have to go now as there’s a Panda at the door with a glint in its eye, brandishing something that looks a bit like a marrow.

  11. Robin commented on April 12th, 2007:

    There was an old spanko from Uganda
    Who had is ass raped by a Panda
    A total surprise
    Brought tears to his eyes
    Now he’s spreading anty-spanking propaganda!

  12. Chris Belfast commented on April 12th, 2007:

    It’s just too good an opportunity to miss, should I do the “eats, shoots & leaves” gag…

    OK then I won’t

    Don’t you just love all these folk who think they are so “normal”

  13. Robin commented on April 12th, 2007:

    Sorry to keep posting on this thread but I’ve been laughing about this all afternoon. It’s like opening pandora’s box ;)

    Knock Knock
    Who’s there?
    Panda Whooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

    I don’t think I’ll ever be able to look a Pander in the eye again without laughing.

  14. Emilie commented on April 12th, 2007:

    You guys are all so creative!!! I’m sure that this person is surprised that their comment was a topic of discussion…or maybe very pleased! Who knows, but your responses are great!!!


  15. SassyRed commented on April 12th, 2007:

    Hmmm….aren’t Panda’s known for small penises and short attention span leading to sex? Honestly, I would prefer a Grizzley Bear — something tall and fierce. Though I have never explored a Grizzley up close, I suspect that one would have the penis to do the job and enjoy every moment of it.

  16. Keith commented on April 12th, 2007:

    Oh man! Can I get this guys e-mail??? I’ve always wanted to try out panda sex! And the idea of being anally raped by a panda…..well, thats just HOT, I don’t care who you are.


  17. Pat commented on April 12th, 2007:

    You know, I tried to get an interview with the panda, but they said no, you can’t do that he’s a live bear, he will literally rip your face off. Hey, you’re making me look stupid! Get out here, Panda Jerk!

  18. Mistress S commented on April 12th, 2007:

    You gave me a fit of giggles. My mind usually goes places it shouldn’t…but I would have never thought to go there. Thanks for the smile and I’ll be sure to watch out for pandas with hard-ons.


  19. AngelBrat commented on April 12th, 2007:

    LOL! Much better than the occasional “You’re disgusting” I get!

  20. americantaliban commented on April 12th, 2007:

    Spanking *AND* an ass-raping by a panda? I’d pay good money for that.

  21. M commented on April 13th, 2007:

    Why a panda? They’ve never done anything to me to deserve that sort of non-consensual conduct.

  22. Robin commented on April 13th, 2007:

    Its such an intriguing blend isn’t it. It hurts like hell, yet at the same time tickles!

    “I’m thinkin’ that’s gonna be one busy panda….” It could even start a Pandemic!

  23. Wanda commented on April 13th, 2007:

    Ass raped by a panda? Really, that’s the best he could come up with? I sorely disappointed. I mean, if some moron is going to berate me for my inclination to want/need a spanking, I’d like for him to at least get more original. Not that I would particularly enjoy being ass raped by anything, but why a panda? At any rate, that panda’s going to be one busy bear, and if you all don’t mind, I’d like to be last in line for that one.


  24. Spankofilly commented on April 13th, 2007:

    Amateur :)

    Here is how you punish a spankophile:

    1. Get them physically set up and emotionally prepared for a good spanking

    2. Wind up for the first shot at them

    3. Change your mind and send tehm home, without touching them in any way, shape, or form.

  25. Poppet commented on April 14th, 2007:

    Thanks for this! I needed a laugh today and this was great! I’m sure he or she was trying to be oh so high and mighty and boy did he or she learn to not mess with a bunch of spankos!

  26. Lovely Autumn Colour commented on April 18th, 2007:

    Given a pandas apparent inability to breed (get it up), one can only assume that the commenter isn’t seriously hoping for us all to be raped by Pandas, and actually is just looking for some butt fucking fun, and thinks that by trying to offend us that we will gather on mass to force feed him bamboo, wear fur and spank him.

    If he was really serious he would have suggested a giant rabbit, hung like a bear.

  27. Amy commented on April 21st, 2007:

    I love being a sick bastard! I’m so glad I found out about my kink early on in life, rather than spending my time thinking of silly things to say to people. silly boy!

  28. Jenny commented on April 23rd, 2007:

    I think I know where the panda ass rape idea comes from: in one of Simpsons episodes a panda has his way with Homer. :)

  29. Oz commented on December 27th, 2007:

    Not that this is a timely comment but….

    This whole topic is sooooooo wrong. You do realize… Pandas aren’t bears. Not ursine in the slightest. Much more closely related to raccoons. weg.

    Now… ass-raped by raccoons… that’s a comversation!!!

  30. Lady Jen commented on November 15th, 2009:

    lol I just discovered this link and even though the last comment was 2 years ago I just had to laugh.

    Ass raped by a panda. Ooooook.

    As for being a sick bastard, well. I least I admit I’m here and posting. :) what was this guy looking up again to find his way here? :) I bet it was naughty naughty….

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