Do Not Shoot At Smoke Detectors

Here’s a spanking story that’s funny and serious at the same time. Bethany has a problem with smoke detectors, and her Jim has a problem with that. Having once been a volunteer fireman, I have to side with Jim:

So – set the scene in your mind. My steaks are burning, two smoke detectors are shrieking into the night so loudly that I’m sure the neighbors will be calling 911, the dogs are barking… and the gun is sitting right there. I mean, come on. It was a no-brainer. I simply picked up the pellet gun, intending to blast the smoke detector in the garage into little (quiet) pieces.

Jim saw me walking into the garage with the pellet gun and immediately became somewhat concerned. (“Somewhat concerned” is a euphemism, unfortunately.) To be more exact, he went ballistic. I guess the sight of one’s wife armed in the house is troubling, or something.

As Jim and I have both implied on this blog before, “real” spankings are mostly a thing of the past for me. But – as I found out last Sunday evening – “mostly” and “completely” are two different things. I was – ahem – relieved of the gun in short order. He then calmly turned off the grill, turned off the two smoke detectors, saved the steaks, got the dogs to shut up (no, he didn’t shoot them) and then took me up to our bed room, where he, also calmly and deliberately, put me over the bed and spanked my bare ass with the paddle he made me when we first met. The one with the waffle pattern.

One forgets, sadly, when one is mostly playing happy little spanky games, how much a REAL spanking hurts. Particularly delivered by a large and angry (though calm) man. And spankings that begin with me not in the frame of mind to receive one can be particularly intense. I mean, friends, look at it from my point of view, OK? What did I really do? What was the ACTUAL crime? I walked from Point A to Point B (about twelve feet) with a gun in my hand. (Which was not loaded, I feel compelled to point out, so my “big plan,” if you can call it that, would not even have worked.) However, this argument really did not cut it with Jim.

So the outcome was that I got spanked, good and hard. He said a lot of things about intent and poor attitude and guns in the house. I came around to his way of thinking eventually, which I will type here for you: smoke detectors are our friends. Smoke detectors save lives. Women who tamper with smoke detectors WILL get their butts busted. And one other thing: Waffle paddles leave waffle patterns on bare skin.

  1. Fr. commented on June 22nd, 2018:

    And you can see her
    Before it cracks and goes out
    She throws rocks at streetlights
    Keeps the streetlight changer busy

    –Low

    (And that’s the full song, too.)

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