A New Year’s Spanking For A Branked Wife

They had a jolly notion of what made for a happy new year and a happy marriage, a hundred-plus years ago in Germany:

brank gossip wife beaten on New Years postcard

As best as me and my good friend Google Translate can make out, the various texts on the card may be loosely translated something like this:

Because your tongue is hateful,
I recommend this practice to you,
The operation is quite reliable,
makes your skin strong and pretty good.

SPANK-HOME FOR GOSSIP-ADDICTS

Happy New Year!

As always, contributions of better translations in the comments are very, very welcome!

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  1. Blue commented on December 27th, 2017:

    A closer translation would be:

    Because of your spiteful tongue,
    I recommend this institute to you.
    The serving staff is very reliable,
    very strong and they spank pretty good.

    Spanking Institute
    For gossip addicts.

    Happy New Year!

  2. Spankblog Reader commented on December 27th, 2017:

    Well the translation don’t make it.

    Correctly it is:
    above the frame:
    Because your tongue is nasty/spiteful, I recommend this institute. Service(staff) is very reliable, very powerful and beat (spank) quite well.
    In the frame:
    Trashing (or spanking) Institute for gossip addicts.

    Prosit new year!

    (Prosit Neujahr is a greeting which refers’s to the toast at Midnight to welcome the new year.)

    I’m not 100% sure if gossip is the right word for “Klatsch”
    “Klatsch” is a German word used mainly for women, who tell everything (the thing) she has heard or seen from somebody to everybody who’s willing to listen to them. Klasch must have been quite popular until 40’s year ago but was not very welcome to many men.

    Bytheway Google translate is not the best choice any longer try http://www.deepl.com. With this “poem” it has its problem too, because of the omissions.
    Weil deine Zunge gehässig _ist_, empfehl_e_ ich dir dieses Institut. Bedienung ist sehr zuverlässig, sehr kräftig und haut ziemlich gut.

  3. MP commented on December 28th, 2017:

    I would translate it this way:

    Because your tongue is spiteful,
    I recommend you this institute
    The service is very reliable
    Very strong and hits really well.

    Spanking institute for gossiping addicts

    Happy new year

  4. SpankBoss commented on December 28th, 2017:

    Thanks for the translations!

    There’s a lot of German heritage in the part of the US I come from, Spankblog Reader; and the housewives there have a phrase “Coffee Klatsch” which literally means a social gathering to get together and gossip over coffee. So gossip isn’t very far off the mark!

    “Institute” in English has never any connotation except the most stuffy and scientific; we would always use “institution” (like “mental institution”) for a house of correction of this sort. So I incorrectly took it in the other sense of a practice or tradition.

    Now that I better understand what the poem means in German, I would perhaps better render the sense of it, if less literally or world-for-word, as:

    Because your tongue wags spitefully,
    I recommend to you this institution.
    The staff is very reliable,
    They are strong and they spank hard!

  5. Fr. commented on December 30th, 2017:

    Well yeah but can we make it rhyme as I assume it does in the original?

    Because your tongue wags spitefully,
    This institution is for you.
    The staff is quite reliable:
    They’re strong and spank hard, too!

  6. MP commented on December 31st, 2017:

    Maybe rhyme it like that?

    You’ve got a very spiteful tongue,
    so in this institution you belong.
    Their service staff is reliable as hell,
    they’re very strong and hit really well.

    ;)

  7. SpankBoss commented on December 31st, 2017:

    I like it!

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