Working With A Disciplinarian

Cheryl from Positively Spanking writes about working with a disciplinarian when she was a new spanko, and why it didn’t work for her even though she enjoyed playing with the fellow:

You see, when I first joined the spanking scene, my first order of business (besides going out and panty shopping) was getting in touch with other female bottoms to get some idea of “how it’s done”, not realizing that there IS no one way to do it. My first mistake was thinking that these ladies were merely bottoms like I was. It wasn’t until later, after I had observed their behavior at parties, that I realized that most of them were submissives and that I had been led down a road I had no real desire to go down.

One of those ladies advised me to get a disciplinarian because “it can’t be fun all the time”. She even suggested a man for the job; a friend of hers who was into punishment that the tagline surrounding him was “whatever Mr. Miller wants, Mr. Miller gets”. Well, I have to admit that I liked this guy. I’d played with him at a few parties and I enjoyed his company so what could it hurt? My sister and I both were trying to quit smoking and every other way had failed. Maybe this way would work?

So we entered into an agreement with this guy. He didn’t insist that we not smoke at all right off the bat. The arrangement was that we had to tell him how much we were smoking. If we decreased from the previous “report” we got good girl spankings. If we increased, we got punishment spankings. His punishments were severe I’ll add right here. He had a very menacing razor strap and he used that for punishment along with a thick rubber strap that his girlfriend had christened “Mother F*&#%r”. And it was! You had to bend over a chair and he would give you 75 full arm swings with the razor strap with no warm up.

He always gave me the option to safe out anytime I felt it was too much for me. My sister got the same consideration. Now, I know some people who read this are going to get their panties in a bunch because they don’t believe that safe words are appropriate during a punishment spanking. However, I will not get spanked under any circumstances without one so that’s that. And he didn’t like working without safe words either. Turns out, I never did safe out. And believe me, the punishments were hard, even for a masochist like me. This photo was taken following a typical punishment:


As we went along in our relationship, a funny thing began to happen. Not only was this guy our disciplinarian, but he was a play partner as well and Carol and I always looked forward to getting together with him. But, as time went on, I began to feel a bit of animosity towards him. I realized that my attitude wasn’t right. I wasn’t making any real effort to quit smoking. The punishments, as unpleasant as they sometimes were, weren’t proving any kind of deterrent to my smoking.

I really liked playing with this guy though. So one day, the three of us sat down and talked about what we wanted to accomplish, something we should have done before all of this started. He finally decided to break our agreement because, as he said, we would both quit smoking when we were ready to. He said we hadn’t really taken the agreement seriously and he was right. I only entered into the agreement because someone else told me that was how it was done. It was the first really valuable lesson I learned in my journey.

So now I tell newbies to just do what feels right and don’t listen to what anyone else says. Take advice when you need to, of course, but don’t let anyone tell you “it can’t be fun all the time” if that’s not how you feel about it. Don’t let anyone tell you that you do it wrong because they don’t do it the way you do it. Don’t bow down to peer pressure.

Sound advice in my opinion!

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Paddling A Foot

You know that’s gotta sting:

paddling her foot while it's helpless in a steel bondage frame

From Device Bondage.

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Punished In The Kitchen

Another excellent wooden-spoon spanking punishment:

kitchen punishment spanking with a wooden spoon

From Audrey Knight’s now-defunct Spanking 360 site.

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Krampus On The Big Screen

This is no shit: they are making a Krampus movie for Christmas holiday release.


Think there’s any chance he’ll be shown chasing someone with switches or a birch? Given that they’re teasing it as a Christmas horror movie and billing Krampus as “a Yuletide ghoul” who is “the dark shadow of Saint Nicholas”, I’m not very hopeful.

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Why She Longed For Domestic Discipline

Constance is a relatively recent convert to the domestic discipline lifestyle. It’s not for everyone, but it’s for her, and she’s written the first part of a domestic discipline guide that includes her explanation of why she longed for domestic discipline:

What took me long time to understand was that, as a woman, I want to be submissive; I like to obey and I need a stronger, guiding power in my life. I want someone who cares for me, loves me, holds me dear, but also disciplines me and who is generally an anchor in my life.

Mark, and pretty much all the other men I meet before him, wanted an equal relationship. He really believed in the 50 / 50 share. And he never wanted to steer or guide my life, far from it. As a woman, and I’m 100% not the only one, I felt in this situation some kind of power vacuum. Nobody was leading.

[So] I became snarky, bratty, and so on. I regularly started arguments for the sake of getting angry. If a man just lets everything slide and doesn’t show me the borders, I lose my respect for him.

I needed my husband to discipline me, to control me, to steer me. That was the void I always had: no one steered me, yet I yearned it.

As a woman, personally I don’t want to lead. I want to follow. My husband, instead, is my leader. It’s the natural order (for me). He enforces his authority over me in whatever way he sees fit.

Link via Chross.

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Spanking A Showgirl

I don’t know the source of this, but from the visual style I’m going to call it an old (1960s or earlier) entertainment magazine doing a bit on showgirls getting spanked on stage:

Only a relatively few show girls saw anything wrong with a grown girl getting a sound spanking!

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Roped Up For Pussy Flogging

Via Bondage Blog:

helpless bondage pussy flogging

Image credit: Sex And Submission.

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Wasp Sting Makes Him Grumpy

Have you every been stung by a wasp? To me it feels like a jab with a red-hot electrified needle. I wouldn’t be in a joking mood after that, and neither was Ronnie’s husband P:

Anyway walking back to the car, his arms weighed down with bags of greenery, a wasp stung him on the arm. P dropped the bags from his right hand and swatted it but it came back again and this time he crushed it against his sleeve, my husband hates wasps, he likes bees but hates wasps, doesn’t see a point to them. Anyway he was angry, then a bit embarrassed because people were watching and he retrieved the bags and made for the car.

I showed appropriate concern, never having had a sting I had no idea what they were like, he said it was nothing but kept looking down at it every few minutes. When we got home he left the plants in the car and went straight in the house to find some TCP or disinfectant, he asked me where it was and I told him I didn’t think either was appropriate, he needed to wash the sting area with some soap and water and apply some antihistamine. I found him some Anthisan which we use on mosquito bites and he rubbed loads of it onto the swelling which, he said, was hurting.

When I asked him if he was going to put our purchases into the soil he said “I’ve just been stung by a fucking wasp!” as if to say I shouldn’t even be asking.

I said “But you said in the car it was nothing and you’ve got some cream on it now.” I was smiling. Men are babies. “I’ll go and get them out the car then and bring some garden tools from the shed and you can join me when you’ve had a lie down.” I was joking only bloody joking!

Obviously my husband wasn’t as badly injured as he’d implied, because he got up and took me by the arm, propelled me upstairs to the bedroom and spanked me after yanking my jeans and knickers down. He did it hard too and I loved it and was trying to think of more things to say to provoke him but I wasn’t quick enough. It was over in two or three minutes and I was dumped on the bed with a throbbing backside. He told me he was going to go and sort the plants out and I was to pull my knickers and jeans up and come out and join him, with a mug of tea, and no more jokes about his sting.

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