Much earlier this month I learned of a male-sub women-spanking-men blog called Over Her Knee. Somehow I lost the link for awhile, but it’s a stylish enterprise well worth your time if you think male bottoms need to be reddened from time to time.
(Me, I’m a chauvinist; my tender buttocks are not fair game and I’ve been known to chastise Bethie for suggesting I test my spanking toys on myself. Why endure needless pain when I can test them so much more easily and satisfactorily on her?)
Once a week or so I get a nice letter complimenting me on the blogging I do here. It always makes my day. So I suppose it’s inevitable that I will sometimes also get hate mail. Fortunately, such nasty letters are vanishingly rare, and they are usually also so illiterate and incomprehensible as to be hilarious. Case in point:
From: “Jim” {jottley@cogeco.ca}
To: spankboss@spankingblog.com
Sent: Thursday, January 22/2004 2:30 AM
Subject: is your hand more sore from…
is your hand more sore from jacking off, or pounding that link key LOL
it’s hilarious that you have almost 500 in hits, and under 100 outs ROFL
talk about faking statistics, but as long as you’re happy thinking you’re number one in your own head that’s fine…
keep on jackin off
I have no idea what the author is babbling about, but he’s obviously handicapped by missing the class on periods in third grade. Jim Ottley, thanks for a good laugh!
A reader sent along the following “altered” song lyric:
What Do You Want From Me (Spankee Version)
Original lyrics by David Gilmour (Pink Floyd)
Altered lyrics by A.L.T.
As you look around this room tonight
Take me over knee and dim the lights
Do you want my screams?
Do you want my tears?
What do you want?
Should I count until I can’t count anymore?
Take every swat till my bottom is raw and blue?
Do it all to please
What do you want from me?
Did you say that I did something, a big no-no?
If I promised never again, would you slow?
Should I take all of the pain?
Do you want me to wear my collar and chain for you?
To meet your kinky need
What do you want from me?
You can have anything you want
You can spank, you can flog, even tie me up
Anything you want
You can own every part of me
Tell me you’re in complete control
That’s really what I need
You can lose yourself this night
Tan my hide, give me reddened backside
I won’t even fight
What do you want from me?
I don’t know enough Pink Floyd to tell how funny this is, but it sounds promising!
Neither Bethie nor I have any real experience with canes. So I procured this little tiny 23″ cane, which looks almost completely harmless. And indeed it is (almost) harmless. A test whack at full strength on the leg leaves an interesting persistent raised double-lined welt, but hurts very little beyond a brief sharp sting.
But the thing is very light, and can be swung a lot of times….
Here’s the result of just a few seconds of rapid repetitive very light swings, resulting in tons of red lines but no raised welts at all. This was just for fun, but it got Bethie wriggling and squirming in no time:
A couple of days later I used the cane much more seriously (although still in pure fun) swinging it hard with the intent to raise the little welts. Her bottom was already well warmed up from other play, and the welts didn’t raise on the warmed up areas very much at all. However, here’s a closeup of an area of her inner thigh that had previously been neglected, showing welts about 1.5″ long made by the tip of the cane:
She squawked a bit about these, until the lotion started going on, whereupon she grew exceedingly friendly.
The reputation of the bath brush appears well deserved. There was much kicking and squawking, although she was very good and did not need to be tied. The results speak for themselves:
Afterwards she was assuring me she’d be very very good, and would be much too sore for days for any more spanking. But a bit of lotion and a lot of rubbing later, she was commenting disappointedly on how various parts of her bottom weren’t as hot and bothered as the other parts. A few hours later, she was delving in her personal effects and handing me paddles I hadn’t seen yet “just so you can see them.”
Right. So it was over the knee for her. Her bunny paddle (a respectable weight of pine plywood with a business side and a fur side) turns out to be very controllable and ideally suited to warming neglected spots on an already-warm bottom. Eventually a nice uniform glowing red was achieved. Alas there are no pictures, because we…um…got distracted.
