Spanking Blog: Adult Erotic Spanking At Its Best

Mistress Matisse has some strong opinions about kinky words. Some I agree with, some I don’t:

And another thing: a “sub” is either an underwater boat or a sandwich. Using the word “sub” – as either a noun or a verb – to refer to either a person or activity in BDSM is extremely gauche. And I really feel that there is no punishment too strong for people who say or write “subbie” as a pseudo-cutesy way of saying “submissive”.

Hey, lady, BDSM is a pretty big tent. Over here in the spanking corner, “sub” makes a pretty good shorthand word for a person who is submissive. It’s not just a lazy shorthand, because has useful and distinctive connotations of informality (and possibly a lesser degree of submission) than the full “submissive.” Gauche? Maybe in Seattle, but I don’t go there much, so I can live with that.

As for “subbie”, it’s not “pseudo-cutesy” so much as it is actually cute (like many of the subbies it gets applied to) and usefully diminutive. I can see why a dominant woman might not get a warm fuzzy about a diminutive that’s most frequently applied to women, but on the other hand all the subbies I know are submissive and enjoy the affectionate connotations of the word.

Now to shift gears to the lesson that made me stand up and cheer:

One last word rant: Dom-i-nant is a noun. If you are a person who likes to be in control, you’re a d-o-m-i-n-a-n-t. When you are playing with your partner, you dom-i-nate them. That’s a verb. As you can see, they’re spelled differently, and that’s because they’re two different fucking words. If I see one more personal ad or profile saying “I’m a dominate Master..” I’m going to give someone an enema with a pureed Webster’s dictionary.

Preach it, sister! Only, why puree the thing? Just cube it into neat half-inch cubes. I’m sure if we put our heads together we could find one of those huge old antique brass clysters with a big enough cold brass nozzle to get the job done. And that way, the lesson will be more memorable to the miscreant.

I’ll give the Mistress the last word:

Language is a beautiful thing. Words are very important. So don’t fuck with them or the Mistress will kick your ass.

I mean no disrespect to anyone’s choice of lifestyle when I say that an awful lot of spankos and lifestyle people seem to take their D/s very seriously. That’s fine for them, but what I treasure as much as anything is the laughter. Baltazar’s anecdote is closer to the way things work around here:

I did take her new wooden handled hairbrush to her backside first thing this morning because she was being a little bratty in a burst of having some energy. It’s a VERY effective little brush – turned her backside nicely red in short order, so I continued applying it with rapid “whacks” until she’d had enough. Well, she was laughing in between yelps of “ow, stoppit you swine!”, so what’s a guy to do? It can’t be that sore if she’s giggling her head off…

Of course, the other clue that she hasn’t had enough is that she’s still calling you a swine and telling you to stop instead of asking….

The 5.19.04 post on The Collar Purple puts me in mind of my morning today. Apparently there’s something in the spring air that makes the women-folk need some firm physical reassurance.

Bethie woke up this morning with enough time before work for a snuggle on the bed. I was already up and awake, but I cheerfully jumped on the bed and we were snuggling and planning the weekend. But somehow, she was just in a contrary mood. All in the most light-hearted way, she kept managing to contradict me for no good reason and brat me in other minor ways. Finally it came down to my smiling “Gee, you’re being difficult this morning” and her sassy “No I’m not!” with the invisible tounge-stuck-out-at-me. You know the one, where you can’t see it but you know she’s thinking it.

So I gave her a few hand swats and told her I’d deal with her this weekend, watching her reaction closely. There was time to give her a good spanking, but really, only just enough time — no extra. She seemed happy for me to let it slide, so I let it slide.

Someday, I’ll learn better.

Fast forward: She comes out of the bathroom all warm and moist and wrapped in a soggy towel. Me, in helpful mode: “Do you want me to give you a few nice red ovals with the bath brush to help you remember me at work today?” That got me some nice distracting kisses during which she artfully managed to drop her towel.
And it got her a few friendly slaps on her newly bared bottom, which she didn’t even pretend to mind. But I was not so distracted that I could not manage a teasing reminder. “You know you will still have to pay for being difficult this morning.” Mock outrage from her: “I wasn’t difficult!”

Ok, boys, it’s like this. They hate to ask, but after they swing the clue-by-four enough times, you really are supposed to step up to the plate and deliver the desired goods. So I bent her over the corner of the bed. “Don’t move!” And stepped into the bathroom to grab the pretty decorative bath brush that hangs on the wall in there — the one with the pretty bumble bee “stinger” artwork on it.

Came back, she’s still there. Two measured swings gave her a nice bright red oval on each cheek. She yipes and grabs. So very cute. It’s really quite impressive, the mark a well-swung bath brush makes on a bottom that’s still damp from the shower, skin still warm from the hot water and all the pores open.

I let her stand up, still clutching herself. Me: “That’s what happens when you get difficult.” Her: “I’m not being difficult!”

Sigh. Sometimes I’m just too easy to get along with. Bend her over again, two more swats. This time I try to see just how fast that old bath brush will move. Then I keep her bent over, while I ask: “Were you being difficult?”

Pause, small voice: “I guess I was being a little bit difficult.”

Peace at last, brothers, peace at last. And off she went to work, happy as a clam.

It sounds like Trinity is a bit distracted. She writes:

People should really not go around telling me they’d like me to make them cry. It makes me entirely too lustful. I seriously can’t think because I keep having images of marked asses dancing in my head.

La Fesse looks more stylish than over at its new link. And it’s a bit more image-heavy now, which is always good.

I’ve been having so much fun with the vintage spanking photos lately, I’m getting tempted to start a separate site for ’em. Here’s more Usenet fun from vintage:

Anybody out there played with spanking stencils? I want a crescent moon one and a star one. “And the red-bottomed sneeches have stars upon thars…..”

See Also:

• Switched In The Woods
• Hairbrush Spanking
• Pretty Girls And The Birch

A while back I linked to the trailer for Schoolmaster’s Revenge, the new spanking video from Spanking Epics. After I hinted (none too subtly) for a review copy, Bethany kindly sent one along.

And am I glad she did! My lady and I watched Schoolmaster’s Revenge on Saturday night and enjoyed it thoroughly.

Without giving away too much of the plot (Yes! It actually has a plot!), I can say that the story follows fairly naturally from the title. In this historical piece, two adult young ladies get caught cheating on the final exam for their schoolteacher’s certificates. They are of course offered the classic choice between ignominious expulsion and taking their licks. What choice do they have? They get spanked with hand and paddle, then sent home for more of the same with razor strop and wooden spoon. One young lady has a mother who takes offense. Mom stomps off to confront the schoolmaster, with whom she has a history. You know where this is going.

OK, time for some few words on spanking quality, acting, actresses, and the like. The two young ladies are sweet, often demure, and very lovely, and they wear (when not bare-bottomed) some lovely period dresses and costumes. Their acting skills are spotty; lines can be a bit rough and they overreact at first with fake tears and pleading when they’ve barely been spanked yet. But they are so cute, you really won’t mind. Later, as their spankings take one some real heat, their reactions are more natural and convincing.

The mother, also very attractive, is a far better actress, bringing real passion to her role along with an amusing brattiness that keeps getting her in deeper trouble. I would be astounded if this lady isn’t a spanko and accomplished brat “in real life” — she brats with far too much naturalness and humor to be working from somebody else’s script.

As for severity, the spankings themselves are refreshingly good. Both young ladies get bright red bottoms from their initial hand spankings, and then pick up additional visible marks as they are later paddled and strapped. Nothing horrid or too severe, but also none of this “caress her bottom while she yells” stuff that used to pass for spanking videos back in the bad old days. Except right at first, these girls are feeling every whack and you can tell by their reactions and by their swiftly reddening bottoms. The same goes for the spankings Mom gets, except that she also gets a light caning (six strokes, only one or two hard enough to mark) to which she reacts as if she were being slain with a red-hot poker. The caning was a bit disappointing, as it followed a more-serious paddling and was treated in the script as a much more dire punishment, even though it clearly wasn’t. Such a mean old schoolmaster shouldn’t be such a wimp with the cane.

Production quality of the DVD was quite good, but not perfect. Lighting was sometimes spotty (a few of the early scenes had an unusual orange tinge from one camera angle) and audio, as is common in erotic productions, suffered from unequal levels throughout the movie. Some dialogue was very hard to hear, but when I turned up the volume, the next scene would featur shrieking that rattled my windows and (doubtless) shocked my neighbors. There were also a few minutes where the spanking blows on the screen were minutely out-of-synch with the audio track, but this is truly a tiny nit to pick.

Remarkably for spanking porn, the DVD version has real DVD features, including an alternate ending, an unrelated ultrashort film featuring two of the same players, and a short bloopers track. The alternate ending and the ultrashort were real value-added, giving Mom several more chances to brat humorously and letting the evil schoolmaster show a lighter and more amusing side of his character.

To sum up: Schoolmaster’s Revenge is a worthy and entertaining production, featuring cute girls, nice brisk bottom-reddening spankings, and enough plot and humor to set it miles above the general run of spanking movies. SpankBoss gives it two paddles up!