A Bunch Of BDSM Dating Sites: Reviewed

This guide to BDSM dating sites bills itself as the “best BDSM dating sites on the web”, and from the limited perspective of our spanking kink, I’m inclined to agree with it, for the sole reason that their top pick and my top pick are the same, as I’ll explain below.

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Reviews are offered for twelve BDSM dating sites, though some of the sites are actually rather more than that; FetLife, for instance, will be known to most of you as a place where kinky hookups are possible, but also as a full-service (if quirky) kinky social-media site. Some of the sites reviewed are quite specialized in focus, too. There’s a site just for Canadians, there’s a site that focuses just on Vancouver, and there’s a site that limits itself just to people with the bondage fetish. There even used to be a site on the review list that was strictly for finding kinky play partners who were also filthy rich, but that site’s defunct now. I guess times are hard all over?

Sadly, what’s not to be found on the list is a site that focuses purely on the spanking kink. Longtime readers will remember that my Bethie had an explosive “success” years ago with a free site that offered spanking-only dating classifieds. When that site outgrew its software and imploded beyond hope of repair, she tried again with a mixed paid/free model, but problems with her credit card biller proved insurmountable. Her sites limped along nonetheless until fairly recently, but with recent changes in US law aimed at censoring sex workers off the internet, just about all the free dating sites have had to go dark, including hers. So far as I know, there remains no such thing as a spanking-specific dating site (paid or free) anywhere on the internet.

However, that means that the best alternative for lonely spankos is to dip into the biggest deepest pool of kinky daters available, which has for a very long time been the members at Alt.com. This guides says “Alt.com is designed to cater to those with niche fetishes and fantasies that are decidedly alternative” and that’s always been the case for those in the spanko community. Should we genuinely believe that they have 2,000,000 plus actual active members, as they’ll tell you when you land on their front page? Well, if you still leave milk and cookies out for Santa Clause, maybe you should. If you still leave your lost teeth under your pillow and look for spare change in the morning, you definitely should. But otherwise, you’ll realize that a lot of those profiles probably haven’t seen a login since the Bill Clinton administration. The actual number of active members is perhaps a lot smaller! But you can be smaller than two million and still be a big number. Alt.com remains one of the largest and oldest kinky-dating sites in the world. If you want to catch a fish, you have to go where the fish are. And for online kinky dating, Alt.com has been a solid choice for decades. Which lends any guide that puts it at the top a certain credibility in my book.

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