One of the great virtues of The Spank Statement is Valdor’s tirelessness in excerpting spanking references from popular (and not-so-popular) culture. A recent effort was this long summary of all the kinky spanking references in The Diaries of Kenneth Tynan. The following comes from a reminiscence about a dinner party:
Another Larry (Laurence Olivier) reminiscence; of the weekend Elaine and I spent with him and Vivien (Vivien Leigh) at Notley Abbey in c. 1955.
Larry returned during dinner: the other guests were Vivien’s mother and father, a petty bourgeois former colonial administrator, I believe. After dinner V.’s mother knits, father pulls on his pipe and reads The Times, V. is drinking hard. ‘Come with me,’ she says to me, and to my consternation starts to lead me upstairs.
‘What for?’ I say. ‘I’m going to put on Sybil’s chain-mail from St Joan and you’re going to help me,’ she says.
Vivien now strips down to her petticoat, bra and knickers and I lower the heavy costume over her head. Thus encased, we return to the living-room, where V. proceeds to render some of the longer speeches from St Joan.
On an impulse she then sheds the chain-mail. Mum is appalled: ‘Now, miss,’ she says, addressing the forty-eight-year-old like an errant schoolgirl. ‘That’s quite enough of that. You mind your manners!’ ‘What are you going to do, Mummy?’ says V. provocatively. ‘Spank me with a hairbrush?’ Mum seems on the point of doing just that.