Spanking Hurts

If you frequent the spanking discussion boards (like Bethie’s Spanking Den) long enough, you’ll find some confusion (believe it or not) over the question of whether spankings hurt. Once, on another board, Bethie and I laughed (gently) together over a post by a young lady who’d finally gotten a spanking after years of fantasizing. Paraphrased and abridged from much greater length, she said “Gee…. it really hurt … a lot … I wasn’t really expecting that.”

Despite sympathy for someone whose partner obviously didn’t stay in good touch with what she wanted and needed, we couldn’t help laughing a little. What, we wondered, was she expecting exactly?

Another common thread on the boards is the question “Why do I/we/you like it?”

Here from The Warren is a post combining both of these themes:

if it didn’t hurt, i’d be doing some serious reality checking on a regular basis. waht the fuck? just becuase i like it means that the rules of science all ofa sudden quite working? sheesh. yeah it hurts. and yeah i like it.. why? honestly, i have no fucking clue. it probably has something to do with socialisationa nd sexual psychology, and a lot to do with endorphins and stuff, and i COULD go into a big long tirade, but basically? i like the way i feel when it happens…

Now, that’s a refreshing change from the usual over-analysis!

  1. mikki_rosie commented on September 20th, 2005:

    *grin* yay! i’m been pinged by SpankBoss!

    *sighs happily*

    well, doesn’t THAT make me feel good! ALMOST as good as being spanked… *giggles* almost…

  2. Terry commented on September 22nd, 2005:

    I think the exciting (and fun) part is in the ritual and the anticipation. The pain is simply necessary to make the anticipation real–if she knows it’s not going to sting, then there’s no anticipatory dread. But it really is essential to recognize when the pain is threatening to overwhelm all the fun and playful aspects of the thing. I am always guided by the question, “when this is over, will she want to do it again?” If you can’t read her reactions well enough to get the answer right, you’re not going to get much action.

  3. patty commented on September 22nd, 2005:

    Pain = anticipation

    Pain = pre-occupation

    Pain = fear

    Pain = anxiety

    Pain = the urge to pee and all the flight or fight activation

    Pain = peace, calm amd resolution when it’s over

    Anicipation+Pre-occupation+ fear+anxiety+ fight or flight+ that amazingly wonderous spankee wiring, predisposition and need+the physical afermath of spanking = The strange conundrum that is fear and anxiety over a spanking to come and the wonderful anticipation and desire for same.

    Who know why, we just are…. Wow ey?

  4. Shannon_Powers commented on September 23rd, 2005:

    The writer Daphne Merkin wrote an interesting essay in The New Yorker a few years ago, which was anthologized in one of her books, about her conflicted feelings about being spanked. I found it very illuminating, since I give and do not receive, the spankings . . . I”m always curious about how *she* feels about it.

  5. subgirl commented on September 23rd, 2005:

    I love it and I hate it. I get nervous and fidgety and excited and aroused by it. And yes of course it hurts. But would I do it again? You bet. I need it, I love the calm, the high, the happiness and even the sore bottom I have for a few days. There’s nothing like it.

  6. You Filthy Man commented on September 23rd, 2005:

    There comes a point where analysis and having to explain something like spanking begins sounding like we are almost apologizing for it and are trying to make it sound logical and acceptable. I enjoy spanking but have little idea why. I do like that there are dark, hard to explain feelings at work in me that have outlets resulting in pure pleasure. Do I have to explain it? No, I’m not trying to convert anyone and like humour and love, kinks rarely survive dissection intact.

  7. Mr Nadz commented on September 25th, 2005:

    He he what an articulate description :)

    But to be honest, I’m with YFM on that. I have sought to understand myself in all aspects of my personality and life and would say I have a fairly good idea of who I am … except when it comes to spanking and such related things. I simply do not have a clue why I’m into it. And I’m quite comfortable with that :)

  8. Dan Duffy commented on October 3rd, 2005:

    “I yam what I yam.” — Popeye The Sailor

  9. Rosemary commented on October 4th, 2005:

    I’ll be honest and say it hurts like mad but my husband finds it the ultimate onturner. So once or twice a year I dress up as tarty brat and submit to an otk spanking and telling off followed by 10 miutes in the corner whimpering as I suth my bum. Why? Well the love-making is really great and he does anything for me for a week
    So what am I doing here well tonights one of those nights and he has left the screen open on purpose just to see what I’d say

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