Cracker Barrel Spanking Paddle: Justly Famous

If you ever frequent any of the spanking discussion boards where toys get discussed, you’ll find frequent references to the paddle-ball paddle available for $4.99 at a Cracker Barrel store near you. Love it or hate it, just about every spanko girl in the world has a strong opinion.

The trouble is, I don’t live near a Cracker Barrel, and had never visited one. Until today, when Bethie and I passed one at lunchtime while out-and-about doing errands.

First funny thing: someone in the store had hidden the paddle ball sets, by putting them on the backside of a display. You had to put your eye up to a crack and peer in, just to find them.

Second funny thing: the girl who rang me up (I bought two — in case someone needs a Christmas present) knew exactly what the paddles were for. She asked “Is that everything?” and so I called Bethie over to see if she needed anything else. The sales girl immediately started telling Bethie about all the sale stuff, and pointing to various corners of the store where there were candles and stuffed animals and other girlie stuff that was supposedly on sale. The sales girl kept a very straight face, but she had that gleam in her eye. You know the look that every brat gets when she’s trying to get another brat in trouble? Yeah, that’s the one.

So eventually we get out of the store, and home with my brand new “BC Tournament Paddleball”. It’s really nothing but a short, well-shaped piece of 3/8″ hardwood (Birch) plywood, lightly sanded at the edges. It’s a bit short for my large hand, and seems lacking in both weight and length.

As it happens, on the way home Bethie and I had one of those conversations. We’d been trying to get something done, and it wasn’t happening. Bethie asked for my advice. (Actually, this was a Mars/Venus moment. What she did was say “I don’t know what I can do differently in order to get this done.” If you think that’s not a request for advice, it’s possible you are a woman.) Anyway, she didn’t like the advice I gave her — consisting of the man-style things I would do in her shoes. So her response was a slightly heated suggestion that I do it, if I was so full of good ideas on how to do it. Since (view from Mars) she’d asked me for advice, and then been ungracious when I gave it, I was a smidge disgruntled.

Only a smidge, though, because I remembered my Mars-n-Venus — and my new paddle. Once we got home, I lured Bethie into the bedroom with a Cracker Barrel chocolate covered cherry. Then I pulled out the paddle ball paddle, removed the ball, and bent Bethie over the bed for a few quick swats.

Imagine my surprise when she began squealing and leaping forward and twisting around! Through two layers of clothing, no less — and she was more animated than she’s ever been when getting a few quick ones. To be fair, she might still be a little sore from her big spanking — but this was still a remarkable reaction.

It gets better. While I’m standing there admiring the paddle, she took down her pants and panties to rub her newly-sore bottom better. Yes, that’s every bit the invitation it seems.

So I start spanking her bare bottom. Light swats, no particular vigor. WOW! She’s all over the bed, twisting and squealing and complaining. Before long, she’s got a faint rosy glow to compliment the few remaining fading marks from Friday. When I let up, she’s feeling her bottom with both hands and complaining bitterly that it’s on fire. She hates the new paddle — or so she says.

Me, I think I’m rather fond of it. My new theory: if every man in America had one of these, it would do wonders for the gross domestic tranquility.

  1. Howard commented on March 10th, 2005:

    My lovely life of 25 years had one of these as a constant companion growing up. She still hates it as the sting is super intense and strangely enough has been known to last a solid hour after only a few dozen hard cracks. If we tried that with the bigger and heavier racquet ball paddle she would be bruised for days.

    I have also noticed that CB hides them or places them in a pail on the floor nearly under the shelf.

    Many thanks to the good folks at CB. For years we looked for something to duplicate my wife’s childhood experiences and all were either too light and would splinter after 4 or 5 swats or way too heavy for our tatses. WE even tried gluing 2 together. LOL

  2. chibob commented on March 10th, 2005:

    Great post. I have a CB close to home. I think I’ll just stop by there on my way home. I guess I’ll have to hunt for them when I get there.

  3. xia commented on March 10th, 2005:

    Yeah… I think I may have to stop and pick one up sometimes… It’s kind of sad when you buy items which you know you’ll probably spend half your hiding them from your Dom.

  4. Howard M. Burkholz commented on March 10th, 2005:

    Hiding this particular paddle seems to be rather common. My wife says she buried it in the yard once when she was about 8 to hide it from her mother. Her mother however had s number of back-ups and a large number of hairbrushes for use.

    A previous girlfriend hid it from me in a box of corn-flakes(really). There used to be a slightly thicker and larger version available at Bob Evans eatery in Virginia. My wife saw that and said don’t even think about it. We never ate there again.

    BTW: Not every CB stocks these items-it may take some searching.

  5. Angela Ricci commented on March 10th, 2005:

    I used to work at Cracker Barrel, and I can tell you that the girls working there hid the paddles. After all, we brats have to help other brats, don’t we? Of course not!

  6. Susan commented on March 10th, 2005:

    Sounds positively delicious. We have several CB stores near us and surely one of them will have it!

  7. roger commented on March 10th, 2005:

    This is EXCTLY what I’ve been looking for! As a subbie I find the idea of a paddle that causes mega intense stinging whilst leaving little or no marking absolutely wonderful. I can imagine now the sting becoming absolutely unbearable but held in place by my Top’s vice-like grip there is no escape and tears will surely follow – perhaps lots of tears. But look in the mirror afterwards and it just looks like I’ve had a mild spanking??
    I have been caned on countless occasions but marking, sometimes severe marking, usually follows. How can I get one of these little beauties in Europe because they’re not klisted in the Cracker Barrel online shop. Any ides anybody?

  8. patty commented on March 10th, 2005:

    and the really awful thing about that paddle…. is, unlike heavier paddles, it takes a VERY VERY VERY VERY long time and a VERY VERY VERY hard spanking to make a poor brat’s bottom go numb. But you don’t need to spank hard to really set a butt on fire with it… It has a Very high sting & burn to effort ratio (as my husbby is fond of saying)

    My husband likes it. It’s the main implement for bad girl activity here… (course I’m rarely bad ;))

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