Bethie’s New Spanking Spatula

Last weekend Bethie and I went to the fancy cooking store in the mall. They have an impressive array of wooden spoons, spatulas of wood and metal and rubber, pizza boards, flat pasta strainers, and other dangerous implements of that ilk.

After examining all these goodies, she informed me that the spatula pictured below would serve double duty as a pasta stirrer and drainer (given the holes). The thing is utterly flat with nice rounded edges, about a quarter inch thick and made of (I’m guessing) a nice clear-grained birch. It was going for a ridiculous gourmet-store price, but I cheerfully took it up to the counter and bought it. (Fortunately nobody has told gourmet stores about standard pricing for paddles in BDSM stores, so it was still a bargain.)

Bethie's Spanking Spatula

The thing has a delightfully evil combination of lightness, stiffness, and speed (because of the length and the holes). So far I have only used it playfully, and mostly while Bethie is fully clothed, but even so it makes her dance from one foot to the other in the cutest imaginable way.

I think perhaps this weekend I’ll use it to draw a map of the USSR….

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  1. Sarah commented on March 10th, 2005:

    I was actually thinking that putting it in water would weaken it quickly but Jay seems to have beaten me to it because the holes already have weakened it. Still, I think it would be cute to hear Bethie complain that Spankboss had broken it across her bum! (Sorry Bethie, grins.)

  2. amazonia commented on March 10th, 2005:

    The One i serve purchased a lovely lavender plastic spatuala (guaranteed up to 450 degrees F)with sanded wooden handle while we were Sunday morning shopping early this am. And proceded to shock the baptist/penetecostal/all around fundie church crowd and the general Republican-White-Vanilla-Man ambiance of this medium Texan town as he swatted me with it (in the grocery store!!!!), repeatedly, causing me to hop and jump with each well-placed stroke.(in the grocery store!!!!)

    We decided that it was the best $1.99 find of the past 12 months. Followed closely by the 24-packs of tiny wooden clothes pegs found in the toy section of Ikea for $4.50, compelete with hand painted black and red lady bugs and yellow sunflowers.

    I hope you don’t mind, but “Spankboss” has become kind of a general nickname around here for all the Top men, Spankers, Doms, etc. We all LOVE you and your site, and anybody who doesn’t seem to know about where the nick came from, i send them this way :) Thanks for everything!

  3. Jay Ln commented on March 10th, 2005:

    I have a strong affinity for kitchen implements,and in fact paid a gourmet store price for that very implement a few years back. So my partner of the time thought the combination of that and an ironing board would be fun( household products can be so much fun,you ought to see me in a hardware store; besides I hadn’t been doing my chores) so over the ironing board I went and about the 4th swat ,it broke between the cracks and became a real skin pincher,swat 5 drew blood and the games were over. Be careful with that thing.
    I have ound that 2 ” wide packing tape,the clear kind, carefully applied over wood toys that have holes,keeps them from breaking and if they do prtects you.Cut the holes out with a razor knife. Tape side towards bottems, during use ,of course, if it cracks it wont pinch,
    Ah, the Joy of Cooking

    Jay

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