“Every Girl Likes To Be Spanked”

Here’s an amusing spanking story:

“Say that again?”

Joey smiled even more broadly and repeated himself very slowly, as if to a child in a remedial sex-ed class. “Every… girl… likes… to… be… spanked,” he said, and he leaned back in his chair as if exhausted after granting me this wisdom.

“Every girl? No matter what?”

“Yup.”

“And you’ve been divorced how many times?”

“Three. What’s that got to do with anything? Look, you asked me how to spice up your love life, that’s my advice. Whap her a good one on the rump and see if she don’t gallop.”

From “Addicted To Smack” (found at Hoot Island).

  1. Max Maximovich commented on March 10th, 2005:

    The really funny thing is, that in my experience this is absolutely true. Raised in a fairly politically correct family, with many wonderful women about, I would never have been able to admit this when I was younger, but the God’s own truth is that whenever I wanted to (which has been often) spank a girl I liked who was not herself a spankophile, I have always been able to. Not only that, but they have always, without fail, enjoyed it, been turned on by it, and in not a few cases, suddenly started to fantasize about it and to look for it in their future relationships with men.

    In my experience what really helps are these key personality ingredients, if you want to become a universal spanker (of the well-loved-and-admired sort, not the awful-boorish-and-hated-harasser kind that women cross the street to avoid):

    — Be confident. Enjoy who you are and know that the fact that you like spanking and are good at it is a gift from God, not a perversion.

    — Have a sense of humor about the fact that you love to spank, without actually denigrating that passion.

    — Be direct. Drop a flirtatious invitation to a spanking that can be laughed off if it it not what they want in that moment. But if they take you seriously, stop all joking and look them in the eye. If they say jokingly “Do you really want to *spank* me?!” , look them right in the eye and say with a very slight smile “I would love to, my dear.”

    — Put your foot down in a way that shows that you care about them, *not* that you want to be the boss of them just because it would be hella fun for you. Take them in hand verbally with firm kindness when they self-deprecate in a way that is disrespectful to their intelligence, personal strength and beauty. Never once let them get away with saying anything like “I’m so dumb” or “I’m too fat” or “I’m a bad person.” Never.

    — Be the kind of man who cherishes women. Open doors, pay for taxi rides, clean the dishes in the morning so that they don’t have to, go to the shops in the middle of the night for their favorite kind of junk food and then come back with their favorite flavor of ice cream *as well*. Compliment them often and sincerely, and if they reject your compliment by saying “Oh, you’re just being nice,” look them in the eye and say “No, my dear, I don’t say *anything* to be nice. I say things because they’re true.” Call them “my dear” as often as you are able to. Let your every action around women (and *not* just the one you want to spank) convey the idea that you respect them as ladies, value their feelings and adore their femininity.

    — While being a gentleman at all times, be a maverick as well. Refuse to go along with whatever is conventional wisdom or political correctness at any given time. Express strong opinions without devaluing those of others. And do things that surprise the hell out of them — in a good way — a woman who is constantly being pleasantly surprised by you in ways that should impuls

  2. Max Maximovich commented on March 10th, 2005:

    that show impulsivity *and* thoughtfulness is one who will be glad to go across your knee for the most wonderful surprise of them all…

    Put this into practice every day, even when you are nowhere near the gal you would love to spank. Remember that it is a series of principles, not a series of “tricks.”
    If you are the kind of man who is incapable of respecting and cherishing women, then step the hell away from this until you’ve grown a pair and know how to use them. Remember that all spanking of adult females is a wonderful privilege to be worthy of, not something that you are entitled to by virtue of your male-ness.

    NEVER think of it as “How can I trick this girl into taking a spanking from me?” Women are smart, much more so than me when it comes to knowingly intuitively what they truly want. By the time she bends over your knee for a spanking, it is not because she has been dazzled by a set of neat tricks and lines, it’s because she has worked out that you are the best kind of dominant, nurturing male who it will be great fun to play with.

    And it can work out wonderfully. The day before yesterday I spanked one of my closest female friends (who’s kind of my kid sister) and her room-mate, both for the first time, in front of each other. Both spankings were enjoyably light and playful, but utterly soul-satisfying for me. Both girls had a wonderful time — and I am now waiting on a call-back from the room-mate, with whom I have just spent an amazing New Year’s Day.

    [Sorry, SpankBoss got cut off first time. I just hadn’t realized how much I’d written — the subject matter does to me make more grandiloquent ;)]

  3. Quiver commented on March 10th, 2005:

    I’ve found that when flirting with men being sassy and dropping the line “What are you going to do, spank me?” has an incredible effect. Usually they want to as much as I want it done to me! You can usually spot the spankers right off by the wicked smile you get back.

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