Negotiating With Erica

You hear a lot in the BDSM world about negotiation, because it’s freakin’ important. But a lot of times, people don’t know how to do it … or they think it has to be some outside-the-conversation serious heavy moment. It doesn’t. I think this anecdote by Erica Scott (about a night when she wore a collar and got tied up, and yes there are fun photos) is an excellent example of how you can negotiate quite edgy (as defined by the participants) play without really even breaking the flow of your conversation:

“I could use a beck-and-call girl, myself,” he mused, winding his hand into my hair and tightening his fist. “I think I should make you MY little spank slave.”

“Right,” I scoffed.

“I have a collar and leash right here in my bag,” he said, watching my face closely. “I think I should put it on you, what do you think?”

He was checking with me. I knew it. I blustered, “Oh my god! You’ve GOT to be @#$%ing kidding me!”

But I didn’t say no. And so the collar went around my neck.

Only with someone I trust this much, would I go there. I constantly amaze myself with the things I’m willing to do with him, things that are so out of my little play box. And tonight, that was just what I needed.

He made me crawl into my bedroom on my hands and knees, and once I was on the bed, I had to take off all my clothes…

See Also:

How Not To Woo A Lady

From Erica Scott’s internet correspondence hall of shame:

Wow that is a lovely bottom. Especially for your age (I bet you hate hearing that).

And her predictable response:

You’d win that bet. And yet, you said it anyway, asshat.

Just… put down the internetz, sonny. Step away from the keyboard. Start walking away from it. And then, keep going.

Erica Versus The Spoons

Once again, Erica Scott brings the Bottom Of Kryptonite and the toys don’t survive the experience:

broken spanking spoons

As she explains:

New Guy came over tonight with a three-pack of brand-new wooden spoons. WTF?? The first time he came here, he brought me a birthday balloon and a flower. Now I get freaking spoons?? Is the honeymoon over?

Since they were kitchen implements, he got this crazy idea that I should spend more time in the kitchen. Needless to say, I didn’t share that sentiment. OK, he said, if I wasn’t going to use the kitchen for cooking, then he’d use it to toast my buns.

Yeah, well… I showed him. And his damn spoons.

She has a history of this sort of thing, too.