Complex BDSM Relationships

For the most part on this blog I hide behind excerpts of other people’s writing, providing only snarky introductions and very thin snippets of commentary. Despite my interest in spanking and some other BDSM topics, the strange and complex ways people actually work these into their lives is often hard to understand. It’s always fascinating, but I don’t often have much to add.

Case in point: here’s an account of a spanking that takes place inside a relationship of obvious strength. Even though both parties clearly have desires that fall within the general realm of kink, it should come as no surprise that the typical human mismatch of desires and fetishes remains a problem. Love just ain’t easy, folks:

That evening, he promised me a spanking for leaving the house angry, although he was at the door yelling after me as I was huffily getting into the car – perspective, perspective. At bedtime, said spanking didn’t materialize.

I debated whether to mention it to him … torn between “I shouldn’t have to tell him!!” and “I really do want a spanking” and “heck, I don’t deserve a spanking, he was wrong!!!”, with the first choice resounding louder and louder in my head, but I did tell him and his response was laughter and what seemed like pity. I really didn’t like how that felt. He spanked me a few times, halfheartedly, it seemed, and afterwards made a comment about noise level. I snarkedly make a crack about closing the bedroom door and progressed to “it’s ok, you’re not really into discipline, I understand that.”. I didn’t mean it as manipulation, just a statement of “truth by shimmer”. But, it brought out the hairbrush for a few good hard smacks that left me resentedly excited, that sexual excitement that happens when your body betrays you, despite your resentful mindset. Master was aroused at my response to the brush and proceeded to use me sexually, thankfully allowing me to orgasm several times. It felt like release, pure and simple, and that was a good thing.

But the truth of the matter is that Master isn’t a disciplinarian. That’s not a judgement, it’s just a fact, it’s neither good nor bad. It just is. His desire is for me to obey him, without him having to enforce my obedience.

From this entry over at Shimmerings.

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