Erasing Offenses From The Book

I described a while back the fun I had with my too-distant inamorata, when she first began to grow concerned about the total of all the bratty impertinences I have been recording in my little book. Given the tally of days and phone calls remaining until we can visit (and begin to clear accounts), she’s right to be apprehensive.

So the day after that last post, she sends me pictures of her playing with her clothespins. Of course I immediately ask if I can post one to illustrate my tale here on the blog. She assured me in horrified tones that none of you would be the least bit interested in the pictures. I laughed at this. Conversation continued.

So, too, did impertinences. She’s particularly fond of saying “Shut up!” when being teased. A painful habit, I’m assuring her. Offenses continued to mount. She began to bargain more vigorously. Specifically, she began to inquire what she would have to do to reduce her recorded total of accumulated offenses.

Well, my loyal and faithful readers, I was standing ready with an idea. Sacrificing my own fun for your benefit, I offered a modest decrement in exchange for photographic publication rights to a single picture. She, predictably, was horrified. Outraged! Scandalized! What kind of girl did I think she was? (Well, perhaps I exaggerate a smidge.) Anyway, it quickly became clear: her real objection was that the modest decrement on offer was too modest. She counter-offered with a much larger number. Too large. My reel began to spin and the line spooled out swiftly.

To make a long story short, after days of entertaining dickering we reached a compromise. Her first and largest recorded offense is now erased, and all my fun forwent, so that I might bring you this lovely picture:

clothespin on her nipple, you have to imagine the cute whimpering noises

I hope you all appreciate the sacrifices I make for you, my loyal readers. {grin}

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