You see, when I first joined the spanking scene, my first order of business (besides going out and panty shopping) was getting in touch with other female bottoms to get some idea of “how it’s done”, not realizing that there IS no one way to do it. My first mistake was thinking that these ladies were merely bottoms like I was. It wasn’t until later, after I had observed their behavior at parties, that I realized that most of them were submissives and that I had been led down a road I had no real desire to go down.
One of those ladies advised me to get a disciplinarian because “it can’t be fun all the time”. She even suggested a man for the job; a friend of hers who was into punishment that the tagline surrounding him was “whatever Mr. Miller wants, Mr. Miller gets”. Well, I have to admit that I liked this guy. I’d played with him at a few parties and I enjoyed his company so what could it hurt? My sister and I both were trying to quit smoking and every other way had failed. Maybe this way would work?
So we entered into an agreement with this guy. He didn’t insist that we not smoke at all right off the bat. The arrangement was that we had to tell him how much we were smoking. If we decreased from the previous “report” we got good girl spankings. If we increased, we got punishment spankings. His punishments were severe I’ll add right here. He had a very menacing razor strap and he used that for punishment along with a thick rubber strap that his girlfriend had christened “Mother F*&#%r”. And it was! You had to bend over a chair and he would give you 75 full arm swings with the razor strap with no warm up.
He always gave me the option to safe out anytime I felt it was too much for me. My sister got the same consideration. Now, I know some people who read this are going to get their panties in a bunch because they don’t believe that safe words are appropriate during a punishment spanking. However, I will not get spanked under any circumstances without one so that’s that. And he didn’t like working without safe words either. Turns out, I never did safe out. And believe me, the punishments were hard, even for a masochist like me. This photo was taken following a typical punishment:
As we went along in our relationship, a funny thing began to happen. Not only was this guy our disciplinarian, but he was a play partner as well and Carol and I always looked forward to getting together with him. But, as time went on, I began to feel a bit of animosity towards him. I realized that my attitude wasn’t right. I wasn’t making any real effort to quit smoking. The punishments, as unpleasant as they sometimes were, weren’t proving any kind of deterrent to my smoking.
I really liked playing with this guy though. So one day, the three of us sat down and talked about what we wanted to accomplish, something we should have done before all of this started. He finally decided to break our agreement because, as he said, we would both quit smoking when we were ready to. He said we hadn’t really taken the agreement seriously and he was right. I only entered into the agreement because someone else told me that was how it was done. It was the first really valuable lesson I learned in my journey.
So now I tell newbies to just do what feels right and don’t listen to what anyone else says. Take advice when you need to, of course, but don’t let anyone tell you “it can’t be fun all the time” if that’s not how you feel about it. Don’t let anyone tell you that you do it wrong because they don’t do it the way you do it. Don’t bow down to peer pressure.
Sound advice in my opinion!