Have you every been stung by a wasp? To me it feels like a jab with a red-hot electrified needle. I wouldn’t be in a joking mood after that, and neither was Ronnie’s husband P:
Anyway walking back to the car, his arms weighed down with bags of greenery, a wasp stung him on the arm. P dropped the bags from his right hand and swatted it but it came back again and this time he crushed it against his sleeve, my husband hates wasps, he likes bees but hates wasps, doesn’t see a point to them. Anyway he was angry, then a bit embarrassed because people were watching and he retrieved the bags and made for the car.
I showed appropriate concern, never having had a sting I had no idea what they were like, he said it was nothing but kept looking down at it every few minutes. When we got home he left the plants in the car and went straight in the house to find some TCP or disinfectant, he asked me where it was and I told him I didn’t think either was appropriate, he needed to wash the sting area with some soap and water and apply some antihistamine. I found him some Anthisan which we use on mosquito bites and he rubbed loads of it onto the swelling which, he said, was hurting.
When I asked him if he was going to put our purchases into the soil he said “I’ve just been stung by a fucking wasp!” as if to say I shouldn’t even be asking.
I said “But you said in the car it was nothing and you’ve got some cream on it now.” I was smiling. Men are babies. “I’ll go and get them out the car then and bring some garden tools from the shed and you can join me when you’ve had a lie down.” I was joking only bloody joking!
Obviously my husband wasn’t as badly injured as he’d implied, because he got up and took me by the arm, propelled me upstairs to the bedroom and spanked me after yanking my jeans and knickers down. He did it hard too and I loved it and was trying to think of more things to say to provoke him but I wasn’t quick enough. It was over in two or three minutes and I was dumped on the bed with a throbbing backside. He told me he was going to go and sort the plants out and I was to pull my knickers and jeans up and come out and join him, with a mug of tea, and no more jokes about his sting.