Negotiating With Erica

You hear a lot in the BDSM world about negotiation, because it’s freakin’ important. But a lot of times, people don’t know how to do it … or they think it has to be some outside-the-conversation serious heavy moment. It doesn’t. I think this anecdote by Erica Scott (about a night when she wore a collar and got tied up, and yes there are fun photos) is an excellent example of how you can negotiate quite edgy (as defined by the participants) play without really even breaking the flow of your conversation:

“I could use a beck-and-call girl, myself,” he mused, winding his hand into my hair and tightening his fist. “I think I should make you MY little spank slave.”

“Right,” I scoffed.

“I have a collar and leash right here in my bag,” he said, watching my face closely. “I think I should put it on you, what do you think?”

He was checking with me. I knew it. I blustered, “Oh my god! You’ve GOT to be @#$%ing kidding me!”

But I didn’t say no. And so the collar went around my neck.

Only with someone I trust this much, would I go there. I constantly amaze myself with the things I’m willing to do with him, things that are so out of my little play box. And tonight, that was just what I needed.

He made me crawl into my bedroom on my hands and knees, and once I was on the bed, I had to take off all my clothes…

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