The Stockroom “Red” Sexmas Sale

As everybody knows, bad little “girls” are supposed to get switches and lumps of coal in their stockings. (And not electrical switches, neither!) But sophisticated bad little big girls — the ones who have worked extra hard at being bad, all year long — may need something a little more… highly engineered. And for that, the 2010 Stockroom Sexmas Sale may be just the thing.

This year, the theme of the sale for me is “red”. Red bottoms and red leather, mostly. But as always when I run through the sale listings, I’m looking for the best bargains, too … the deep discounts that make me want to whip out my credit card. And this year, the top honors in that department go to:

Heavy Red Fiberglass Cane $17.50 | SALE: $10.00

red fiberglass cane from the stockroom

This sturdy cane has a 21″ fiberglass rod with a handsome red nylon covering and a black tip. It has a black rubber-covered handle for an extra firm grip. This cane is probably best reserved for those looking for a thick, mean “whap”.

All that for only ten bucks! And Christmas is a birthday, so somebody should be getting a birthday caning anyway, right? I swear, this holiday is looking merrier by the minute.

Moving rapidly along: this next item is a personal favorite. We bought it years ago, and I quite enjoy it. (I haven’t written about it, but Bethie has.) Plus, it’s red and looks like candy:

The Lolly Crop $55.00 | SALE: $44.00

Red lolly crop from the stockroom

This fun and naughty Lolly Crop gives resounding smacks that are as delicious as candy. This crop with a sense of humor is easy to aim, sturdy, flexible and looks fantastic. The bing cherry-red silicone disc on the business end has a 2 1/2″ diameter, and the whole crop is 21″ in length and 1/2″ thick. The shaft is made of carbon fiber and the handle is textured with black “o”ring material.

The third and final red impact toy in our stocking-stuffer lineup today is the classic short riding crop, long a favorite of mine, redone in red holiday finery. Maybe it’s just me, but I almost don’t feel like a Christmas stocking is complete without a riding crop handle sticking out the top:

Braided Short Red Riding Crop $42.00 | SALE: $35.00

red braided short riding crop from the stockroom

This snappy little crop is made of a strong braided leather, richly dyed a deep red, with a 2½” wide head. A striking crop that is built to last.

Finally, with all these mildly painful (heh) impact toys to play with, the prudent man might consider getting a pretty red leash and collar to keep everything (and everybody) in place while experimentation and testing proceeds. Sadly, the leash pictured below is not actually on sale (although the collar is):

Red Leather Leash $20.00

red leather leash and collar from the stockroom

This basic red leather leash is 2½’ long and about ¾” wide. It is designed with a wrist loop on one end, and a very nice crab-claw hook on the other end, making for easy attachment to a collar or harness.

I hope this short set of highlights helps you finish off some of the missing kinky spots on your unfinished Christmas shopping list!

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