Spanked By Fox News

Alert reader “C” sent me this spanking article, amused by its Fox News branding. But the thing to remember about Fox News is not that its editorial stances are right-oppositional; they are, but despite that fact, the Fox organization is not actually culturally conservative at root. At root, Fox News is a Rupert Murdoch tabloid operation, and so if it sells newspapers, it runs. Nothing else matters.

What’s fascinating about this spanking article is that somebody at Fox decided it will sell newspapers — or sex toys, because it’s got three affiliate links in it. Since when did newspapers start publishing editorial content with embedded affiliate links? Well, I guess they saw us bloggers doing it and decided it was the wave of the future. I’m surely in no position to throw the first stone.

But, enough blather. The article itself is kinda fun:

Tender skin. An open palm or leather flogger. The anticipation before the hand or instrument meets flesh. The thrill as the sound reaches your ears at precisely the same moment the sensation reaches every inch of your body. And you only get another if you ask very, very nicely.

Oh, the joys of spanking. It may have been a dreaded punishment as a kid. But as part of consensual adult play, it can be delicious fun. Much of the thrill comes from the expectation and build-up. When will it happen? How will it feel? Will it happen again? And no matter how many times you may indulge, those same questions always seem to arrive since each spanking encounter is different.

The rest of the article is just like that — poetic and attractive language that polishes up a workmanlike and very functional step-by-step “spanking for vanillas, and why it’s fun” instructional. Pretty good work, and miraculously free of the usual newspaper rib-nudges and reportorial linguistic distancing.

  1. RM commented on June 18th, 2010:

    I love the explanation that the article ran because Fox is more in the business of making money than being right wing. Haven’t we seen enough scandals to know that Republicans aren’t that vanilla? Hell, it seems like half of the spankers these days are religious right folks who believe women should be kept firmly in hand – or is that at hand?
    Anyway, I’m a conservative voter and as part of that I want the government kept out of my sex life. I’m a big believer in people’s right to do what they want in bed – or on the kitchen counter – as long as it doesn’t impinge on the rights of others.
    Basically, I vote Republican and am a big believer in spanking. I know I’m not alone. :)

  2. Francis Spakowiak commented on June 21st, 2010:

    My Dearest Mr. Boss –

    Your description of Fox News proves that those of us that call ourselves spankos (or however we wish to refer to our spanking inclinations) are among the most intelligent persons around. I am not a view of FN, but I agree that Mr. Murdoch is very good at making money.

    Fox News does not prove that the US is a conservative country, nor does it disprove it. It only shows that Mr. Murdoch knows how to read the demographics of typical cable news viewers and program to them accordingly.

    And now back to our regularly-scheduled spanking blogging…..


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