Search Your Way To Kinky Paradise

Given that I have myself not only blogged about finding kinky people in various ways, but I’ve even blogged about Mistress Matisse’s advice on finding kinky people, I found myself in sympathy with her mildly sarcastic (cough cough) remarks in response to a suggestion that she’d provided insufficient info on the matter, leaving it, her correspondent asserted, “completely unanswered”. I’m in sympathy, yes, even unto the tone:

Completely unanswered? Oh yes, my goodness me, how could I have overlooked that? I suppose it’s because in the five-plus years I’ve been blogging (not to mention nine years of Stranger columns), no one has ever asked me where to meet other kinky people. Ever. It’s a complete non-issue. Every other kinky person in the world is born knowing this, and if you don’t – well, I’m sorry, but I’m afraid you’re clearly not kinky.

All right, all right, that’s not very nice of me, is it? But my dear man, you must understand, I have given far more than hints on this subject. This is one of the two most-frequently-asked questions I get, and I have not merely touched on it – no, I have manhandled it. I have spanked it. I have shaken it by the scruff of the neck. I daresay I have thrown this question to the floor, kicked it around, ridden it until it was exhausted, and put it away wet.

I am far from the only sex blogger who has addressed this question, by the way. It was sloppy seconds long before I came (so to speak) on the scene. So for you to offer me a date with it, as if it were a virgin – well, that arouses my sarcastic side. Sorry, it’s an occupational hazard.

When in doubt, Google. Sheesh, you would think they were handing out internet licenses like free candy bars or something these days.

  1. excineribus commented on December 17th, 2009:

    Imagine the poor bugger’s perplexity back when the only way to find kink was in Usenet…

  2. John commented on December 21st, 2009:

    Dear Spank boss,

    I continue to applaud your site and the degree to which your creativity regarding everyone’s mutual interest is employed the area.

    Because I’m male, it seldom occurs to me that there are lots of women that want to be spanked who are frustrated. There are so many references to spanking in the mainstream media now, that I sometimes wonder if there’s such a thing anymore as spank-o’s.

    I can remember a few years ago (okay, maybe more than a few) when Shadow Lane was really a literary magazine and had sophisticated female readers. (It seems to be something else today.) Also remember Dauphine Merkin’s courageous article in the New Yorker writing about her frustrated but secret desire for a lover to employ the hair brush that she prominently displayed on her nightstand.

    Do you think there are that many sophisticated women today wishing to be spanked?

    I am certainly sympathetic with the notion of wishing to avoid leather and hard-core S&M, not that I judge either of these communities; it’s just not me.

    There are many of us who would have a hard time explaining to colleagues and friends what we were doing at an S&M, leather, or similar gathering.

    Perhaps what we need is a community board of literary types who are also spanking types.

    As usual, thanks again for the great material.

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