Spanking Parodic Poem

This is a parody of Lewis Carroll’s poem You Are Old, Father William, written by English spanking author Philip Kemp and found here on Devlin O’Neill’s blog:

“You’re so lovely, my darling,” the young man said,
“And your bottom is rounded and white,
Yet I think it would look even prettier red,
So you’re getting a spanking tonight.”

“There’s no cause for a spanking,” his girlfriend replied,
“My behaviour has been very good,
I haven’t been bratty, or naughty, or lied;
So I really can’t see why you should.”

“That’s quite true, my sweetheart,” her boyfriend agreed,
“Your behaviour’s been utter perfection,
So it isn’t a punishment, dear, that you need
But a loving erotic correction.”

“That’s really not fair,” the sweet maiden demurred,
“For there’s nothing you need to correct.
Oh no, don’t shake your head! My defence should be heard,
That’s the least I’ve the right to expect.”

“Oh, I’ll hear you, my angel,” he answered with glee,
“I’ll attend to each word with great care.
But I listen much better when you’re ‘cross my knee
With your bottom upended and bare.”

“Oh please!” she protested, “No, don’t! Let me go!
I’ll be good! Oww, that hurts! Oh you swine!
Oww! Oh no, not the hairbrush – it’s stinging me so!
Please, your hand does the business just fine!”

“Your bottom is blushing as sweetly, my dear,”
Said he, “as a rose, I assure you.
And the hot loving spanks I’ve bestowed on your rear
Are proof of how much I adore you.”

“I love you, you beast,” she exclaimed with a pout,
“Though you cause my poor bottom such pain.
Come on, let’s to bed; after which, I’ve no doubt,
I shall want you to spank me again!”

I quite like the poem, enough so to tempt me in regards to Kemp’s recent book, Blushing at Both Ends.

See Also:

  1. Vinnie Tesla commented on May 1st, 2009:

    Lewis Carroll’s You Are Old, Father William is in turn a spoof of the incredibly dreary didactic poem The Old Man’s Comforts and How He Gained Them.

  2. Gwen commented on May 2nd, 2009:

    Ah-ha, THIS would explain the surge in traffic. Thanks for the link, SpankBoss!


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