Talking To Mom About BDSM?

This ErosBlog post has had me thinking about “the rules” for talking to people about sex and kinkiness. The post linked there (by Greta Christina) talks about how people don’t talk about sex in any detail. While that may be true in the aggregate, it’s been surprising to me just how open many people are about sex and kink, and how many details they do share, especially with trusted friends and select family members.

Which doesn’t mean it isn’t both awkward and funny, sometimes, as Natty describes:

In the last two days I have twice found myself in the position of tutoring someone on the topic of S/M and spanking.

The first tutorial was brief and, er…uncomfortable as my tutee was my mother. See I’ve strongly suspected that part of the reason her current (fourth) marriage is not working out is that her husband may actually be submissively oriented, as is she.

So yesterday as she was driving me to Trader Joe’s and talking about her husband, I finally just blurted out, “why doesn’t he just go to a dominatrix already!”

“What’s a dominatrix?”

Was she serious?

“You know, a woman a guy pays to have order him around and often, you know, whip him and what not…you know, S/M and what not,” I tried to explain.

“What’s S/M?”

My jaw dropped. For a woman who has always seemed to be this fount of sexual information, I was shocked.

“You know dominance and submission. Where one person’s sorta in charge in the bedroom…In fact, I’ve often thought that you, with your obsession about having a husband who is the head of the household and takes care of you, would totally be into domestic discipline…”

“What’s that?”

I took a deep breath. Then shook my head.

“I should probably talk about this later and do my shopping,” I said grabbing the car door handle. “You can look it up on the Internet.”

“Good idea.”

The Loving Domestic Discipline page probably had a few hits from Clackamas, Oregon last night.

I’ve actually been toying with talking to my mom about the whole DD thing for awhile. Yet aside from the ick factor, there’s also the concern that if she did totally get into the whole thing, I’d never be able to go to a spanking event in Portland again without my mom being there (yes, she’s little Miss Outgoing).

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  1. Natty commented on March 26th, 2008:

    Keep meaning to say thanks for the call out (that Bitch Magazine article has had me busy at my blog and the PB). I have to say, this had to be one of the more uncomfortable moments I’ve ever had with my mom. ;-)

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