Domestic Discipline Dynamics

Here’s a long and thoughtful article by The Disciplined Feminist on domestic discipline, a style of spanking relationship I don’t know a lot about, but which is of interest to many Spanking Blog readers. I’ll just let her set the scene, and then you can go read the rest:

The scene: I’m in the kitchen cooking dinner, banging pots and pans around. My ever-observant partner asks what’s the matter. I don’t actually know, mind you, but I decide that whatever it is, it’s his fault. So I let him have it — a long list of whiny, bitchy grievances that I have a bad feeling I’m half-making up as I go along.

My tirade has the, apparently, desired effect. My partner starts to get angry, then, to his credit, does what I’ve asked him to do. He stops and instead says, “Go get the paddle.”

Many women in DD (domestic discipline) relationships will recognize this moment as the single most challenging one in creating a DD lifestyle. I’m angry, I’m sure I’m right. I am Woman, hear me roar and there’s no way in hell I’m getting the paddle. I turn my back on him and walk out.

My partner, being either very foolish or very brave depending on one’s point of view, follows me. “It’s not an optional thing,” he reminds me. I say nothing. “That ring’s supposed to mean something,” he adds, pointing to the silver band that I wear as a symbol of my consent to a DD lifestyle.

It only takes a split second — I’m barely aware of my thought process or my actions. But before I realize what I’m doing, the ring that I’ve fought so hard for the right to wear, the ring that symbolizes the hard work, trust, tears and heartaches that have gone into creating this fragile thing called a DD relationship, is off my hand and tossed onto the counter.

There is a beat of stunned silence on both of our parts. Neither of us can quite believe I’ve done what I just did. Taking the ring off is something I’ve promised — sworn — never, ever to do in the heat of an argument. Only upon thoughtful reflection and discussion is that supposed to be on option.

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