The Best Kind Of Spanking Scandal

It’s so much fun (thanks, Adele!) to be able to link to a tabloid-style spanking story involving a public figure, that isn’t unutterably squalid. It helps that in this story, the girls were old enough to be legal (if still awfully young), willing (heck, they are the ones who proposed the spanking!), and treated with as much respect as a pair of young groupies could ever hope for:

Russ’ real-life St Trinian’s night

As Flash Harry in the new St Trinian’s movie, he loves to surround himself with gorgeous, pouting schoolgirls.

And as a real-life self-confessed sex-addict, Russell Brand has never been over-fussy about who climbs into his bed.

So when two beautiful teenage fans turned up at a book-signing session in sexy Santa outfits, Brand wasted no time inviting them back to his luxury hotel for a night of fun.

As soon as they got back to his £800- a-night suite, he lured them into the bedroom, lifted their skirts – and spanked them.

But Randy Russell was in for a shock when Polly Elcoat and Emma Cain confessed that they were only 16 years old. In fact he was so alarmed he asked for ID to make sure they weren’t even younger.

And although he went on to share his bed and a few naughty cuddles with the star-struck girls, he stopped short of having his usual wicked way.

Brunette Emma recalls the moment Russell found out they were real-life St Trinian’s types.

“We were all lying in bed watching a movie. Russell had his boxer shorts on and we were having a chat,” she says. “He asked us how old we were and when we told him we were 16, he shot bolt upright in bed.

“He said, ‘Oh my God’, and then asked if we could prove it.

“We showed him our student cards. A big grin spread across his face and he said, ‘That’ll do nicely’.”

Best friends Polly and Emma had met Brand at a signing session for his autobiography My Booky Wook at Manchester’s Zavvi music store on December 1. Keen to impress their hero, they turned up in Christmassy red satin lingerie, fishnet stockings and high heels .

“We thought it would be a laugh to dress as sexy Santas,” says blonde Polly. “We wanted to catch Russell’s eye.” It certainly worked.

“A security guard came over and asked us to write our numbers down, saying Russell had noticed us. When we got to the front of the queue, he said, ‘Well, well, well, what have we here then?’ He stood up and did an extravagant bow and shouted out, ‘I say, Christmas, it seems, has cometh early’.”

Russell was so excited by the girls’ outfits he asked them to pose while he took a snap of them on his mobile Emma said: “Then he kissed us and I joked that he could give us a good spanking if he wanted. He pulled a funny face and said, ‘Ooh, you naughty little thing.’ A staff member said Russell was performing at the Apollo Theatre that night and wanted to give us free tickets.” An hour later, Russell called Polly.

“I couldn’t believe it,” says Polly. “I was so excited, I hung up.”

“A few seconds later, my phone rang,” says Emma. “It was Russell. He asked if we were still wearing our Santa suits. I told him we were and he said, ‘Great, come over to my hotel.’

The girls took a taxi to Manchester’s swanky Hilton Hotel – and headed straight for the Presidential Suite. True to form, Randy Russell stripped to his underwear and said: “Come into the bedroom.”

Polly says: “He told us to lie face down across the bed so he could spank us. We laughed and he said, ‘Go on, I mean it. You said you wanted spanking and now I will spank you’.

“He lifted our coats one by one and tapped our bottoms with the palm of his hand. It didn’t hurt.

We stood up and slipped our coats off in front of him to reveal our Santa suits. He lay on the bed with a huge smile on his face.

“Then we kissed him. He made a little ‘mmm’ noise and closed his eyes. We got comfortable. That was when he asked how old we were. He thought we were more like 20.” When Russell left to do his show the girls were taken to the venue by a guard and treated as VIPs all night. Emma says: “Russell made a real fuss of us and told all the staff that we were to be looked after.”

And after his performance, he whisked them back to the hotel.

Polly says: “He told us to to make ourselves at home and order room service while he went to the bar with his staff. He was gone for almost two hours.

“We ordered chips and Haagen Dazs ice-cream. Then we took a dip in the massive granite bath and got in to bed to wait for him.

“When he finally came back, we were lying in the spoons position to keep warm and had almost dropped off to sleep. He stood at the end of the bed, looked down at us and said, ‘Aah, look at you two darlings’.”

Then wild-haired Brand stripped to his boxers and dived beneath the sheets with the two giggling schoolgirls.

“His chest was so hairy,” says Polly. “We began running our fingers through it and tickling him gently. He put an arm round each of us and we started kissing him.

“He felt our boobs through our bras and kept telling us we were his little darlings and how naughty we were.

“It was hard to resist letting things go any further, but it was getting too intense for us so we snuggled into his chest and told him we were feeling tired.”

So Russell respected their wishes – and rolled over and fell fast asleep.

“He was a real gentleman. It was obvious that he wanted us to go all the way but he said he thought it was a good idea to stop before things went too far.”

The next morning, the trio had breakfast in bed while he read out excerpts from his book. Then he called them a taxi.

“He thanked us for a great time and we told him we’d really enjoyed ourselves,” says Polly.

“We’ve told our mums and they weren’t too pleased. But to us, he will always be Russell, the true gentleman. Who knows…we might even make it into his next book.”

Asked about the two girls this week, Russell proudly showed off their picture on his mobile, and told us: “Them two madams turned up to my book signing wearing sexy Christmas-themed lingerie.

“I bet Barbara Cartland didn’t have to put up with this rhubarb…”

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