The Naughty Side Of Christmas

Here’s an excerpt from Alison Tyler’s blog post about why Christmas is such a great time of year for naughtiness:

I think that Christmastime brings out the naughty side of people. There are so many opportunities to be a bit devious. Holiday parties. Open houses. Dressing rooms at the mall. (Oh, wait. Maybe that’s just me.) Places to wear your slightly risqué outfits. Food and liquor to indulge in. Bosses to kiss under mistletoe.

Now, sure, if you’re like me, you indulge all year long. You find yourself at your boyfriend’s ex-wife’s house, with your skirt up and your knickers down. Down? I mean, you know, gone. You grip onto the counter and listen while the two most dominant people you’ve ever met debate how they might best punish you for your cheeky behavior. And whatever they decide, you understand you will have no say in. But that doesn’t really matter, because whatever they decide will turn you on.

There are wooden spoons nearby.

There is a spatula.

You’ve already been thrashed once today. What will befall your poor bottom now?

But if you’re not like me, and you don’t let loose so often, then the holidays are the perfect excuse. To wear stockings with jingle bells sewn in so that your crush can ask you what’s making music, and you can lift your skirt and show off your garters. And your thighs. And your naked, shaved… Excuse me. What was I saying? Oh, yes, the perfect time to nuzzle up to the office Santa and tell him exactly how bad you’ve been—or how bad you’d like to be.

And she’s right, too. Christmas does bring out the naughty side of the most unlikely people. I was checking out my purchase at a candy store in a square and boring mall in one of the squarest states in America, when some coal-shaped lumps of chocolate caught my eye. The square-looking register clerk, who could pass for one of the youngish grandmothers common in these parts, saw me looking at them, and she said with a minor gleam in her eye: “Those are only for bad girls, you know.”

Me: “Well, in that case, I guess I’ll need two.”

The gleam in her eye gets brighter. “She must be really naughty, then!”

Me, trying to sound weary and resigned: “You have no idea.”

She laughed and took my money.

  1. Francis Spakowiak commented on December 21st, 2007:

    My good man –

    So did you enjoy your visit to Wyoming?


  2. SpankBoss commented on December 22nd, 2007:

    Dude. There’s a mall? In Wyoming?

    Actually my impression of Wyoming, geographically square though it may be, is that it’s cowboy country. And in cowboy country, they know all about ropes and leather and quirts and riding crops and… well, let’s just say the horses are an excuse.

    Everybody’s at least a little bit kinky in cowboy country.

  3. Bethie commented on December 22nd, 2007:

    Hey! My naughtiness only deserves two lumps of coal? I thought I was doing better than that. LOL

  4. calliope commented on December 22nd, 2007:

    A stocking full of chocolate naughty girl candy? I want! Gimmee gimmee gimmee!

  5. SpankBoss commented on December 23rd, 2007:

    Bethie, the traditional formula for a naughty girl’s stocking is “switches and lumps of coal.” Mebbe you shouldn’t complain until you’ve seen what else is in your stocking, hmmm?

  6. Alison Tyler commented on December 23rd, 2007:

    All any naughty girl would truly want for Christmas is to be on Spanking Blog!
    SpankBoss, you must be Santa Claus!


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