Caught Skinny Dipping

Get caught skinny dipping, get a spanking. Simple — but not as simple as it sounds. From Pieces:

I told the giant squid if he didn’t get A/C for the house I was going to trek to northern climes.

“It’s only a few days a year, bambina.”

“I can’t take the heat!” I said a little louder than I normally speak.

“You think this is hot?” he grumbled. “Wait till you feel how hot it’s gonna get on your tush!” This was said in a not-so-nice tone of voice.

“Bully!”

SWAT!

“I’m leaving and spending the next few days in an air conditioned hotel. You can order takeout for you and the pups.”

SWAT!

“You’re staying,” he said with great confidence. “And tonight, we’ll go skinny dipping. Sound good?”

Ohhhhhhh skinny dipping. Our neighbor is out of town and told us to use their pool whenever we wanted to. Very few pools out this way. We had one in Miami when we lived there and used it most of the year. Hmmm… no neighbors, beautiful pool, hot night, skinny dipping. Okey dokey, I can do that.

So… that evening – late – we walked over to the neighbor’s house. The house is surrounded by tall evergreens and it’s very dark so we turned on one outside patio light so we could see where we were. Stripped and jumped into the pool.

Splashing, swimming, teasing, the band is cued to play… and just when things were getting v-e-r-y yummy, a humonguously bright light is turned on and directed at us. I scurried behind the giant squid. A voice says very calmly…

“Is that you, Admiral?”

Apparently, the neighbor on the other side heard us and thought a couple of teenagers were trespassing on the property and called the police.

Honestly…

“Good evening, Officer,” Cowboy says just as calmly, treading water as if he was used to being scrutinized in his birthday suit.

Total frontal nudity! Accckkkkk!

Not wanting to be left out of the fun…

I’m still hiding my naked self behind Cowboy but I yell – “Oh Officer, this big mean man ripped my clothes off!

He tossed me into the pool!

He means to have his way with me!”

Spanked by a Navy SEAL, that’s gotta smart!

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