Spanking Paris Hilton’s Ass

Ahh, Paris Hilton, that fine blonde picture of privileged American youth. Is she in jail this week, or has she sniveled her way out again? I get so confused, even when I try to keep track, which is … never.

However, I can feel a MasterCard commercial coming on.

Picture Of Paris Hilton’s Ass: Free
(via Google Image Search)
Big Black Wooden Paddle: $49.00
(via JT’s Stockroom)
Paris Hilton Getting Spanked: Priceless!

paris hilton gets a spanking

[Disclaimer: This post is for humor purposes only. Judicial spankings as featured on Spanking Blog should be understood as pure fantasy fodder. Spanking people without consent — even spoiled brat heiresses, no matter how richly they may deserve it — is not something Spanking Blog would ever seriously advocate.]

  1. Freeasair commented on June 14th, 2007:

    Hey
    All I can splutter in the face of such political rectitude is, “Why the hell not?” It is of course quite probable that a sprightly paddling of aforementioned ass will not improve spoiled brat behaviour (we spell it thus in old fashioned England) but it would make the rest of us feel the World was rediscovering traditional values enhanced by the warm, comforting feeling of, “Now doesn’t that just round things off nicely?”

    Chas

  2. Goddess with a Whip commented on June 14th, 2007:

    $49? Isn’t that a lot to pay for a plywood paddle? :)

  3. SpankBoss commented on June 14th, 2007:

    Chas: The answer to your “why the hell not?” is that repeatedly hitting people without their consent in order to cause sustained pain is known as torture, an activity that civilized peoples reject as immoral.

    If “traditional values” means “torturing people to increase their conformity”, then I don’t want any, thank you.

    Goddess, I dunno, that’s just what they charge. However, I will say that all the best wooden paddles I’ve seen have been made from high grade plywood (usually birch or another semi-hardwood), as it offers a better combination of weight and durability than a solid chunk of pine or hardwood.

    The reason I link to toys from the Stockroom is that their stuff is consistently decent quality or better, and their customer service and delivery speeds are amazingly good. What that’s worth to you might be different than what it’s worth to somebody else.

  4. Southern Angel commented on June 14th, 2007:

    The other night, on The Colbert Report, Steven Colbert interviewed Chong from Cheech and Chong. It was a follow-up from an interview Chong had done on MSNBC regarding Paris Hilton’s arrest. Chong told Steven Colbert, he would have put Paris over his lap, lifted up her skirt and given her a good licking. He later implied he meant licking in the oral sex sense, but he *could* have meant a spanking.

    Not that I condone non-consenual spanking, but it seemed relevant. 0:-)

  5. Goddess with a Whip commented on June 15th, 2007:

    Thanks for the review. I was fairly certain you wouldn’t link to a product that you didn’t believe in personally. Haven’t bought from Stockroom, but I’ll certainly consider it.

  6. SpankBoss commented on June 15th, 2007:

    Goddess, just to be clear, I haven’t actually gotten my hands on the wooden paddles from the Stockroom, so that was not, precisely speaking, a review. ;-) But I do indeed believe in the company.

  7. David commented on June 16th, 2007:

    SpankBoss,

    I cannot argue with the logic of your riposte to Chas, but I do think it
    depends on context.

    I personally have no axe to grind with Paris Hilton and am continually
    amazed that people take her travails so seriously (and personally).

    But I can imagine there would be a time and place for a non-
    consensual spanking. I just don’t know what that would be.

    David

  8. SpankBoss commented on June 16th, 2007:

    David, I’m a little amused at the argument “it depends on context” followed by “but I can’t think of an appropriate context.” I guess my rejoinder is “me neither”.

    Don’t get me wrong, the “so-and-so really needs a spanking” meme goes through my head several times a day. And, usually, the target really does.

    In Paris’s case, it appears she has a bad case of rich girl astonishment that the rules we little people have to follow could possibly apply to her. From my great distance, she seems to keep getting in deeper trouble because she doesn’t understand at a gut level that she could ever be forced to endure a negative consequence for her misbehavior. Most people get that understanding before the age of six, one way or another (even in the modern “time out” era of politically correct child rearing). She, apparently, never did.

    Not that I care very much, I just thought this would be a fun photoshop project.

  9. The Black Paddle - Spanking Blog commented on August 23rd, 2010:

    […] The models are Kyla Cole, Kiki Klement, and the famous 18″ black paddle that I once recommended for Paris Hilton’s ass. […]

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