Can’t Take A Spanking?

Semi tongue-in-cheek question here: What does she really mean when she says she “can’t take it”?


This prompted an anguished “Please don’t master, I won’t be able to take it” but she kept her bottom raised.

She took the strokes well, so I rolled her back over onto her back and toyed with her some more, before deciding that further cane strokes would be a good idea… Despite her pleading, she kept her bottom raised for the full 48 strokes, and I rolled her back onto her back afterwards – leading to very pleasant squirming as she laid back onto her sore bottom.

Bethie says this too, and it always leaves me bemused. I mean, it’s obviously not literally true; the cane is there, her bottom is there, and there’s no participation required on her part; the cane strokes will land whether she does anything or not. There’s nothing for her to do! In fact, she can’t not take it, especially if she’s well tied up.

I guess it parses to a protest — “that’s going to hurt more than I think I will enjoy” or something like that. But it’s not a request or instruction to stop; those are in another tone of voice entirely. So what’s the point?

Generally it just makes me laugh, and encourages me to demonstrate (again!) that she can, indeed, “take it”, just as she has so many times before.

  1. Sarah Aless commented on June 16th, 2006:

    Hey there,

    From my own experience I would agree with what you said about thinking it’s going to hurt more than I would enjoy. I have been known to state rather emphatically that I can’t (or on one very silly occasion ‘won’t’) take something.

    The point you ask? I guess there isn’t a practical point. It’s kind of like saying you hate a certain implement or even that you don’t want to be spanked when of course if all activities were to desist you’d be pretty ticked off! Personally I think its an extension of the old ‘no’ can mean ‘yes’ (or harder, or more) hence the need for safewords.

    Besides I’m sure no top would be complaining about having the opportunity to use the infamous ‘you can and you will’ line, it also invites comments on what will happen if you in any way dmonstrate that your not going to take it.

    Hmm not sure if any of that made sense but I know what I mean! I think the upshot of my ramble is – we say it cos it’s fun, and it’s fun to be made to take it!


  2. Lilly Lee commented on June 16th, 2006:

    I think it’s all part of the role playing fun of pretend-resisting, fighting, begging for mercy, helplessness and so on. IMO, it adds to the experience of feeling trapped or controlled, or otherwise helping the sub become more emotionally and mentally engrossed in the action.

    Either way, it never buys me any leniency when I do it. ;-) LOL

  3. Tigger commented on June 17th, 2006:

    What a marvelous post… and you are so right as to the inevitability of the outcome anyway. But maybe that is rpecisely the point of the words, “I can’t take it.” It is that moment of indecision, that split-second of self-soubt that creeps in and spawns those words, just a second before completely emotional control is given and total submission is attained.

    That is the goal that we spankees shoot for, each and every time, but our minds still wrestle with us during each and every spanking. That ultimate goal is so rarely attained to perfection, but it can’t happen without our acknowledgement of our letting go of everything… of our fear, of our worry, of our doubts, our insecurities, our inhibitions.

    It is about trust, but not trust of the other but rather trust of the self. It is, for many of us,a vocal acknowledgement that must happen in order for that “letting go” to happen. It’s also a gateway to all the pleasure that comes with going beyond our pain, our fears and our inhibitions, beyond our very minds…

    Thanks for the food for thought… by the way, I’m adding a link to your site today. I honestly have no idea what took me so long… I’ve read here often enough but never lingered to browse, I suppose. I LOVE the male eprspective on all things spanking, by the way. It helps me to understand not only my hubby but also myself, to see and hear other perspectives and views from beyond my own little world.


    Generally it just makes me laugh, and encourages me to demonstrate (again!) that she can, indeed, “take it”, just as she has so many times before.

  4. Hidden Flames commented on June 17th, 2006:

    I think that, in my case, it’s that my mind thinks I can’t handle more pain, when my body wants it anyway…

  5. Bethie commented on June 17th, 2006:

    Great comments!

    As for me, I don’t know why I say it. Sometimes my mind rebels and like you say, you know I’m not telling you to stop. If you did stop, I’d be confused and disappointed. When you push me like that, it lets me sink down into my submission and embrace that part of me. There are times when I really need that! Love you! :-)

  6. robeach commented on June 19th, 2006:

    My lover normally is receiving, but she’s not here to respond. On occasion we switch roles. My well-oiled buns in the air, belt taking its laps…my butt seeks out the strokes…she is talented at finding the sweet spot behind my balls…she knows I never whimper, “I can’t…”

  7. Lithaborn commented on June 21st, 2006:

    Generally it…encourages me to demonstrate (again!) that she can, indeed, “take it”

    I think you hit the nail on the head, there.

  8. Mija commented on June 26th, 2006:

    I’ve wondered before about my tendency to say this –especially since Pab normally replies “you have no choice” or something like that.

    I think part of it is the relief of knowing that I don’t have a choice, that he’s not expecting bravery or stoicism.

    Also, on some level, I know that he enjoys the idea that I’m a bit frightened, that this is more than I want, that I’m going to struggle and need to be restrained.

    Not sure though. What’s amazing is the realization that I *don’t* want anymore, that I’m really struggling as hard as I can to get away, and I still can’t, that it isn’t going to be over until he decides to stop.
    Terrible at the time, wonderful in retrospect.

    Such a strange girl… ;)

  9. Katie commented on July 4th, 2006:

    I have said “I can’t take it” but would have been disappointed if the spanking stopped. IMO, that is the purpose of a safe word.

  10. ODavesK commented on July 15th, 2006:

    Reminds me of my relationship with my spanking partner. I have 2 implements that she regularly professes to hate. One is a 1/4″ maple teardrop paddle (varnished, for extra sting), and the other is a polyethylene strap, which stings more than any leather or wood that I have ever felt or used. Oddly enough, she made both implements for me (“I never thought that you were going to use that paddle on ME”–uh huh–who did you suppose I was going to use it on?).

    Anyway, every time I spank her with either implement (which is pretty regularly), she says “I HATE that paddle!” or “I HATE that strap”. On the other hand, if I don’t bring at least one of them, or don’t use one of them, she seems to feel slighted (“I thought you were going to bring THAT paddle”).

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