Indeed, one should be wary of ANY essentialist statement about what is feminist and what automatically disqualifies one from having a legitimate voice. (In particular, a failure to see the usefulness of “as if” in play and fantasy has the unfortunate effect of likewise eliminating any analytical value that can come of examining dreams — which, for all that feminists have critiqued traditional Freudians for good cause does not at all invalidate a methodology that has yielded excellent results time and again in the search for more existentialist practices in clinical psychology such as Viktor Frankl’s Daseinsanalysis/logotherapy.) I grieve to say that some very intelligent feminists who should know better are not immune to the kind of essentialism that falls back on biological determinism (women are “naturally” more nurturant, more inclined to consensus rather than binary dialectic, and so forth). But one could as easily argue that because men tend to have greater upper body strength than women, and women rounder bottoms than men, it is only “natural” that men be the ones to administer the spankings and women to receive them.

I am married to a very capable woman who at one time was a circulation director for a national magazine, supervising a multi-state territory, and she takes crap from nobody. But she knows that a sound spanking on her ample bottom can be really hot, and makes sure she gets one when she wants one. I don’t think this vitiates her feminist credentials in the least; rather, it is all of a piece with an erotic life in which she regards sexual desire and the as-if play that goes with it as altogether valid, and is not reticent about having hers satisfied, even if it means playing the naughty little girl over my lap.

It basically told me that any kind of spanking was abuse of masculine power and that I had a problem because I often fantasized about being spanked. So, as a strong modern feminist, I kept it a secret for many years. What else was I to think?

Thank God for the internet! I have since come out of the closet as a spanko, both in online spanking communities and even to real life people. Some accept it, while sadly others don’t.

While there are spanko men who act as if women are somehow inferior, I am pleased that the overwhelming majority I have “met” online are not. And I still consider myself a feminist and have learned to reconcile that need for freedom and independence with a desire to submit temporarily to spanking for pleasure.

Spanking Blog is an excellent site.

Let me ask you this… have you ever came to the conclusion that maybe your spankophilic tendencies are in fact RELATED to your being a nice, decent person on the outside? That’s how I feel, at least.