La Fessée Dangereux

So the Pink Bottomed Girls were playing with Mr. Danger when he suddenly morphed into the European Languages professor from Hell:

I felt someone lift up my naughty little skirt, and smooth it out careful along my back. My white cotton panties were adjusted and I was ready for a hard spanking.

That’s when I hear a voice speak sternly to me… but not in English! Monsieur Danger began to scold me in French. I knew that bathbrush was in his hand and I had no idea what he was saying. I was terrified, half sobbing and half full of nervous laughter. He smacked that evil brush down hard onto my bottom.


Oh God, I haven’t spoken any French since high school… eek! I tried meekly to say “one.”

“Non!” SMACK!!! “Un” Oui, Un, Un!

“Après un est deux.” SMACK!!! “Combien?” Deux, I cried!! “Et après deux est trois.” SMACK!!! “Combein?” Trois!!!! Owwww! We continued this way with the bathbrush until we had reached “dix.” Then my French Professor rubbed my back, “bonne fille.”

Then I was bent back over the table and grasped my pillow while he picked up the deluxe cane from Adam and Gillian’s. I held my breath awaiting the first of its awful strokes.

That is when I met Herr Danger. I took one year of German in college and I wish I had paid better attention. I had no idea what he was saying, but after each stroke it seemed like he was asking if he could continue and I just cried “Ja.”

  1. Drifter commented on October 10th, 2005:

    Oh that’s awesome!

    Let’s see, how many languages do I know a smattering of?

    Ancient Hebrew
    bits and pieces of German

    I need to learn more….

  2. Val commented on October 19th, 2005:

    fesée is a feminine noun (yes, Martha, nouns have genders), so the adjective dangereux takes the feminine form: La fesée dangereuse.

    Le prof

  3. Val commented on October 19th, 2005:

    and being so excited, I misspelled the word ‘fessée’.

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