Spanking Email Fetish

As you might imagine, running this blog gets me some odd email. Lately, however, I’ve noticed a common theme that runs through some of the odd ones. Every few weeks I’ll get one like this (although the return address and subject matter always varies):

“my girl likes me to spank her during sex and i like doing it can you tell me what what makes her like it is it the pain or power”

What these messages have in common are (1) that they are very short; (2) they always contain a stupid-ish spanking-related inquiry that invites a detailed response; 3) the authors of these requests never share anything substantive about themselves; and 4) the authors of these requests usually display a profound native innocence about phenomena such as punctuation and capitalization.

What’s more, I sometimes get similar requests in comments and they are also fairly frequent on spanking discussion boards. Usually in the discussion boards six people will answer, but the original poster never comes back into the discussion. Instead, a week later, it’s new thread time: “tell me what you like when you get spanked do you suck him always then?”

I have begun to conclude that these questions are a variant on the strategy used by the guys who make dirty phone calls to random women in an effort to get free phone sex. It’s as if there are guys out there (surely guys — I’ve never had one that purports to be from a woman) who get off on the act of enticing someone into responding to their questions about spanking. Why this should be so (when there are millions and millions of pages of spanking discussion out there just waiting to be Googled up) is beyond me. But then, other people’s fetishes are often a mystery.

Has anybody else encountered this “I want some custom spanking prose from you” email fetish?

  1. danae commented on March 10th, 2005:

    I came to the same conclusion you did years ago shortly after starting my blog. They are wanting you to get them off by your account, your thoughts, your stories. I will get some that will take a little more time then a few lines, but usually they try to word their questions so that it is supposedly thought provoking but also sexual at the same time.

  2. Ayzad commented on March 10th, 2005:

    “Naive”. Not “native”. Really.

  3. Bob commented on March 10th, 2005:

    No, Actually, I believe Native works there… I had to look at it twice, myself, but native fits the sentence. Načve would have been redundant, and therefore Načve.

  4. Spankboss commented on March 10th, 2005:

    Thanks, Bob. Indeed, “native” is the correct and intended word here, “native innocence” being the innocence with which we all enter the world at our nativity. It is, as I will freely grant our pedantic friend Ayzad, a nearly obsolete usage of the word.

  5. princessofamber commented on March 10th, 2005:

    Mistress Mataisse seems to get this all the time. If you ask I’m sure she could share some doozies.

  6. Tex commented on March 10th, 2005:

    Ooh, I feel kind of bad now. I emailed you awhile ago asking how to get my husband to spank me more. I didn’t know it would make you mad!!

  7. Spankboss commented on March 10th, 2005:

    Tex, I’m sure it didn’t make me mad, although I don’t specifically remember. I don’t usually have time to play advice columnist, which is probably why I didn’t answer. But if your email was extremely short and lacking in punctuation (which I doubt, from your comment) you now know another reason why I might not have answered.

  8. Tex commented on March 10th, 2005:

    For the men who ask you those questions, Spankboss, I’ll provide a short answer~

    For me, it’s more about the discipline than the pain. I am working on a PhD and it’s so stressful – when I come home I love to NOT feel in charge anymore. Not so much about the pain.

    Hope that helps!!

  9. cee commented on March 10th, 2005:

    i gave gotten this a LOT since starting my diary. Personalized porn-like tidbits are what they seem to want. i suppose it’s a form of flattery, but really, punctuation would get them further. Spelling always counts, imo, too.

  10. steve commented on March 10th, 2005:

    I hate to spoil the fun, but has anyone considered that these child-like scribblings are the work of children? As much as we like to believe that only adults use the adult parts of the internet, that isn’t always so.

    Sorry for the downer.

  11. Spankboss commented on March 10th, 2005:

    Steve, no downer because I find the idea implausible. It’s a rare child indeed who claims to have a wife or uses diminutive terms like “my girl” for their fictional romantic partners.

  12. onceover commented on March 10th, 2005:

    I am sure they are just getting their jollies. I notice the same thing in classified. Send a query, get a reply saying how great it sounds, and asking for more graphic details. Then after the second or third email, when the idea of meeting is being negotiated, the respondent disappears from the earth.

  13. Scorpio commented on March 10th, 2005:

    Heh. What do you suppose online chat is all about? The worst are the guys who want you to write them volumes of porn while they go “mmmmmmmmmmmmm”.


  14. Qwert commented on July 29th, 2005:

    Steve, I don’t think that the content or the grammer of an email is a very good indication to if it was written by a child or not. Unless this child is 6 years old, I think a child would use correct grammer, and if they say anything at all they would use proper grammer and spelling for the most part. What I’m saying is that anyone one of the ones who posted comments here is just as likly to be a child. Though I don’t know why I bother posting this, I doubt anyone will end up reading this considering the date of the article.

  15. Me commented on June 15th, 2007:

    “Though I don‚Äôt know why I bother posting this, I doubt anyone will end up reading this considering the date of the article.”

    I’m reading this in June 2007. Read into that what you will!

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