For the folks (often women) who wonder “what’s in all this for the guys?” here’s an article from Taken In Hand called “What’s in it for the man? Freedom!” After eloquently pointing out how liberating it is for a man to feel “in charge” in a relationship, the article makes the following excellent point:
Lady readers: don’t underestimate the importance of making a man feel accepted and appreciated. If you want your partner to change, you’re not accepting him for what he is. When my girlfriend J looked me in the eye and agreed to obey my decisions, I felt ten feet tall. I felt deeply peaceful, with something of a high. For the first time in my life, someone was accepting and appreciating me for the man that I am, for being a man, giving me the freedom to make the decisions I want to make.
That J trusts me with this level of decision-making makes me feel fantastic. I feel a sense of gratitude for this level of trust. Other men are shackled and constrained by their partners’ demands; I am truly free. I have a woman whose trust in me and belief in me is absolute. I have a woman who loves me enough to have set me free.
What more could any man ask for?
It’s an amazing feeling, to have someone value your wants and needs simply because they are your wants and needs, instead of valuing only that subset of your wants and needs that happens to mesh perfectly with her own. The love and appreciation that makes me feel is impossible to describe.