OK Danor, You Had Your Chance

Danor is such a tease. Somebody really needs to spank her for that. Kam, are you reading this? Good Christ, man, why? You have work to do!

It’s like this. The other day, Danor posted a wish list of expensive goodies under the title “Greedy Little Sub”. She then fell to musing about the fun to be had even with cheap toys:

Our best kinky toys cost less than $20 or were found around the house: $2 Ping-Pong paddle, $1 soft clothesline rope, hairbrush, belt, candles, store brand lube, $6 riding crop, $15 cane, $0.50 wooden spoon, $1 deck of cards, free handcuffs (a promotional for some sorority party on campus here), $11 butt plug.

Innocent that I am, I was reading through that list and stumbled hard over “$1 deck of cards”. I can see how they might be useful for spanking card games, and if you really pushed me I might be able to dream up a kinky process involving precise shuffling near protruding nipples, but still somehow cards don’t strike me as kinky toys the way the other items in the list do. Laugh at my naivety if you must. Obviously I’m having a failure of imagination.

So anyway, I inquired in the comments, but Danor wouldn’t elaborate. She justifies this intellectual stinginess by explaining: “Kam hasn’t actually used the cards for awhile now, and I’ve learned my lesson about posting stories from the past that Kam might just have forgotten about by now.” Hmm. Doesn’t sound like spanking card games is the answer to this mystery.

So, fellow kinksters, I ask you: How does one use a deck of cards as a kinky toy? Ladies and gentlemen, and the rest of you lot, the comments are open!

  1. Danor commented on March 10th, 2005:

    What, no suggestions yet? Tsk tsk. What about verbal bondage? Palms together behind your back, five cards between the fingertips, bend over and don’t let them fall? Or build a house of cards on your submissive’s back before caning her, and if it falls, double the strokes? You could play “kinky 52-pick-up”– every card out of order in the deck at the end of a particular length of time adds a stroke. Ooh, I know– you make her draw a card sight unseen, and guess whether it’s red or black, and if she gets it wrong, you get to paddle her ass both red and black?

    God, I hope Kam doesn’t read this blog regularly.

    None of those are what we actually use the cards for, by the way. I just made them all up on the spot. Have some imagination, people! ;-)

  2. TheBoss commented on March 10th, 2005:

    I’ve got one that only requires a tv tuned to some news channel or some other event where people are talking a lot (the presidential debates work excellently for this). Every time someone parrots a mindless cliche, an obvious falsity, or any other tired inanity the sub gets swatted once. Anything ORIGINAL and stupid earns three swats.

    Playing Cribbage for swats (every point the sub ends up behind, she gets one swat) is also a great way to have some fun, heh! Double the swats if she gets skunked. Things get brutal if she’s double-skunked.

  3. Danor commented on March 10th, 2005:

    Kam would never make me play the news game. The news is painful enough to both of us without adding more pain and suffering. Drinking games (“Gays shouldn’t be allowed to marry, because then they could adopt children, and we shouldn’t expose our children to sexual molestation and abuse.” “Self-righteous non sequitur! Drink!”) are much more tolerable.

  4. wench commented on March 10th, 2005:

    Danor, are you being a brat, hoping Kam will read these entries and use those cards on you. Does *asking* work too? :)

  5. Danor commented on March 10th, 2005:

    No, wench, I’m just being a freelance brat. ;-) Kam can come up with plenty of wicked ideas on his own.

  6. Gary Switch commented on March 10th, 2005:

    Ever scaled playing cards? You hold a card horizontally with your index finger on a corner and flip it like a frisbee. There’s a game where two people try to scale cards into pots set up in front of them, for instance. With practice, you can whiz those suckers pretty fast and accurately. Now if your target were a sub’s bent over bottom and she had her legs spread, you’d have plenty of interesting places to aim for.

    Gary Switch

  7. wench commented on March 10th, 2005:

    ooh ooh ooh, that sounds like fun. Is that it, Danor? Is that what they’re for? ;)

  8. katy commented on March 10th, 2005:

    Strip poker?

    Or, gambling for chips… where at the end, the winner exchanges chips for swats, one for one? Of course, the sub always is the recipient of the swats, the winner just gets to choose the implement. ;)

    Ooh, I just love swats!

  9. katy commented on March 10th, 2005:

    I have to agree that TheBoss’s news game is cruel and unusual. The news is a major passion-killer!

  10. John commented on March 10th, 2005:

    its simple just take a deck of cards the sub must quess which number it will be and the color. The difference in the number is the number of strokes. example if the sub picks four and it is a 7 then the sub would recieve 3 strokes. If The sub picks the right color the sub can pick the implement. If the sub guess to many right in a row call them a cheater and give them the face value.

  11. mib commented on March 10th, 2005:

    I used to play a card game with my dom. We turned a card. If I drew a picture or an ace it counted one ; if he drew a picture or an ace it counted as 11;12;13;15 depending on whether it was jack ; Queen etc.
    If I drew the lesser card ( which nearly always happened with my pix counting as one )I would be spanked on the bare bum the difference between the two cards.
    We would then each turn a card over again and if I lost a second time I would be spanked the total of both turns. So if I lost by three on the first turn then I was spanked three times. If I lost by seven on the second turn then I was spanked ten times. If I lost on the third turn by ten then I would be spanked 20 times. If I eventually ‘surrendered’ then we would agree the caning I was to receive. We did this by me turning over five cards and me being caned the total of the five with each picture counting its true value.
    We both loved this game !!
    Did you understand it – I will ask questions later and wrong answers will see me spanked ??

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