A Number of Things About Me

A tired blogging convention to be sure — I can hear people saying “That’s so two years ago!” — but it hardly seems fair to cruise along blogging up a storm in complete silence about the personality behind the anonymous blog. So for what it’s worth:

1) The nickname “SpankBoss” is arrant self-aggrandizement, as I am nobody’s boss but my own, and I haven’t spanked anybody lately.

2) I’m your fairly typical internet horndog — male, thirties, professionally self-employed, too fat, a little bit geeky, not as social as I’d like to be, and with too much time on my hands since the serious girlfriend (well, I was serious) got married to the older fatter fellow she found on ICQ. I guess he gave good keyboard.

3) Fetish is to sex like spice is to food. Spanking, bondage, power exchange, dominance and submission — it’s all big fun, but it’s no substitute for a solid loving relationship. Within one, it’s a damnably delicious condiment.

4) Why spanking? It’s hard to be successfully introspective about the things that make us hot. But if you’ll accept an armchair-psychology self-analysis, I think it’s a power-and-revenge thing. But that sounds…well, not worse, but perhaps more important, than it should? It’s no big deal. Rather, like most mild fetishes, it’s more of a vestigial thing, a left-over artifact of a bad adolescent decade. Like most guys who aren’t jocks or hunks, I was pretty frustrated as a young man, and got told “no” a lot, or (worse) ignored. Spanking a woman (in fantasy, against her will; in reality, with her consent) amounts to a spot of harmless payback. It’s sexually hot because when a woman is being spanked, she is, literally and symbolically speaking, in no position to say “no.” If she could (in fantasy), or would (in reality), it would have happened already. I guess you could say spanking liberates my inner mustache-twirling dastardly villain. All in good dirty fun of course.

5) I have an irrational aversion to internet chat. (See #2 above.) Voice of Foghorn Leghorn: “I say, that was a joke, son, a joke I say!

That’ll do for a start.

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